


The Red Name

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drugged Sex, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, but you have to earn the fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: According to the Project Shepherd files, when an alien reaches the age of maturity (approximated to be 30 years old), a name appears on the skin over their heart. This name will reveal the person they love most in the world. The name appears in colored ink, in shades of pink or red. The darker the color, the stronger the love.Max, Isobel, and Michael received their marks 22 years after waking up in the pods. It's a damn shame none of them are actually with the people whose name they get.
Relationships: Liz Ortecho/Kyle Valenti, Maria DeLuca/Isabel Evans, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Max Evans/Liz Ortecho, Max Evans/Liz Ortecho/Kyle Valenti, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 118
Kudos: 470





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not your fluffy happy times soulmate au. It's not. They're adults and their relationships are complicated enough before throwing this monkey wrench in the works.
> 
> My working philosophy for this fic is that no one person is the bad guy because everyone's a little bit of the bad guy. They've all fucked up, okay? So please don't go into the comments talking about how horrible one character is over another
> 
> *written pre-Season 2*

Looking back, it was easy to pinpoint the moment it all fell apart. 

It was early and Michael was only half awake, if even that much. He slipped from the bed, careful not to disturb Maria, and escaped into the bathroom for a quick shower. Maybe he could’ve looked in the mirror at any point while he was in there but it was fogged up and he didn’t particularly care that much.

He should’ve cared. It might’ve bought him a little bit of time.

“Michael?” Maria’s voice was soft with sleepiness but there was an undercurrent of wariness to it that made Michael sit up and take notice. He straightened up from where he’d been bent over searching the floor for his clothes and looked over at the bed. Maria was propped up on an elbow, the sheets falling haphazardly down to her waist as she stared at him.

“‘Morning beautiful,” Michael greeted. Maria didn’t answer. “What’s wrong?”

Maria blinked and stared at him incredulously. “What’s wrong?” She pulled the sheet up to her neck as she sat up. “Did you think I wouldn’t be a little concerned about this?”

Michael looked around himself. “Concerned about what? What’s wrong?”

She laughed breathlessly. “You get your ex’s name tattooed on your chest and you’re honestly asking me what’s wrong?”

Michael balked. “ _ What _ ?” He looked down at his chest and sure enough there it was, Alex’s name in a rich red tone, so dark it was nearly black, scrawled across his heart. “ _ What the fuck _ ?” He rubbed at it but it was still there. Frantically he started rubbing at it harder. He knew it wouldn’t make a bit of difference considering he’d just stepped out of the shower but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t supposed to be there, he didn’t even know how it had gotten there in the first place, and it was freaking him out.

Maria stilled his hands. “You didn’t get a tattoo, did you?” She asked softly. Michael shook his head, his eyes wide. They looked at each other then looked down at his chest. “I don’t know why I thought it was a tattoo, you didn’t have it last night.”

“Okay,” Maria sighed, hiking the sheet up under her armpits. “Call Max and Isobel, see if they’ve got names mysteriously on their chests.”

She grabbed some clothes and ducked into the bathroom to get dressed, something she’d never done before. Michael stared at the closed door for a heartbeat before looking back down at Alex’s name. He was still staring at it when Maria came back out.

“I don’t understand,” Michael murmured. 

“We’ll figure it out,” she promised. She dropped the sheet onto the bed and swiped her phone from the bedside table, already calling someone as she left the room. Michael eyed his own phone but stepped into the bathroom instead. The mirror wasn’t fogged up anymore and he could clearly see Alex’s name. The ink was like blood and the script carefully printed. Michael recognized it, it was his own handwriting. He’d never had much occasion to write Alex’s name so when he did he took extra care with it, his handwriting suddenly neater than it’s ever been before or since. Slowly, he lifted a hand and ran his finger over it. It felt like skin. Nothing special about it except that it was  _ there _ .

“I tried Isobel and Max but neither answered,” Maria said softly from the doorway. Michael dropped his hand and spun like he’d been caught doing something wrong. She looked away. “I called Liz and told her we might have a situation on our hands and she told us to head over to Kyle’s. We can talk about it there.” She left before Michael could say anything.

\---

For a doctor, Kyle had a small apartment. It wasn’t much but he didn’t need much so it suited him fine. But when seven people gathered in the living room, it bordered on claustrophobic. 

“Ok, what’s up?” Isobel asked, not even looking up from her phone. She’d already been at work when the group text went out so she was anxious to leave.

Kyle looked to Liz. She was the one who had suggested getting everyone together after talking to Maria this morning. She hadn’t said what it was about but she looked worried. Kyle looked over at where Maria and Michael sat a careful distance apart for the first time in months and his heart sank. He had a feeling this was connected to the file Alex had given him last week and not in a good way.

“Should we wait for Alex?” Liz asked. Kyle shook his head. If he was right about what this was about, Alex had specifically told him he didn’t want to be around for it. Across the room, Maria’s shoulders lost a little bit of their tension and Michael got a weird look on his face. “Uh, okay. Michael?” Liz waved to him. “Want to explain what’s going on?”

Michael shifted. Next to him, Maria refused to meet anyone’s gaze. “Isobel, Max, you wouldn’t happen to have noticed anything strange this morning, did you? While you were getting ready for work maybe?”

Isobel and Max looked at each other then back at Michael and shook their heads. “What is this about, Michael?” Isobel asked.

Michael scratched his head. “Did you look in the mirror before you got dressed?”

“Just spit it out,” Max ordered.

“Have you seen your bare chest this morning, yes or no?” Maria asked.

Both of the twins paused and thought about it before Isobel shrugged and Max shook his head. “I don’t think so?”

“You should, uh, you should do that,” Michael advised. “Let us know if- just- yeah.”

“That is incredibly unhelpful,” Isobel snarked.

“Jesus, just take your shirt off, Evans,” Rosa crowed. “Both of you.”

“I am supposed to be-”

“Faster you take your shirt off faster we’re done here,” Michael cut her off. “And please, use the bathroom or something. I don’t need to see this.”

“You don’t-” Maria stopped. “Just look at the skin over your heart,” she told them. “You can probably just unbutton your shirts if that’s easier.”

Isobel and Max looked at each other. Finally, Max shrugged and started undoing the buttons on his uniform. Next to Kyle, Liz shifted in her seat. Isobel waited a second longer before huffing and dropping her phone onto a chair. She quickly untucked her blouse and undid the top few buttons. By the time her upper chest was revealed, Max had gotten his shirt open and was tugging down the neck of his undershirt.

Kyle knew what was coming, there was really no doubt now that he realized this was in fact exactly what Alex had warned him about, and yet he wasn’t prepared for Max to pull down his shirt and reveal Liz’s name printed on his skin. Everyone froze and stared at the awkward scrawl. The handwriting left something to be desired but it was unmistakably Liz’s name, right there on his chest in red ink. 

So focused were they on Max that they almost missed Isobel’s reveal. She’d been staring at Max’s chest same as the rest of them as her blouse started to gape open and her chest was revealed over the top of her camisole. Maria’s name stood out stark against her pale skin even in its light pink color. 

“What the fuck?” Maria blurted out as Rosa started laughing. Isobel flinched and looked at them before following their gaze to her own chest. She froze and stared down at the name in visible shock.

“What the fuck?” Isobel repeated. Kyle sank back into his chair with a heavy sigh. 

“What’s yours say, Mikey?” Rosa leaned across Maria to tug at Michael’s shirt but Michael evaded her grasp.

“Michael?” Max asked. He hadn’t moved from his earlier position; he still held the undershirt down far enough to reveal Liz’s name.

Michael sighed heavily before whipping off his t-shirt in one smooth motion. Alex’s name was in the same dark red as Liz’s, maybe a little darker. Kyle looked back over at Isobel and noted that Maria’s name was definitely a much lighter shade than the other two. 

For a minute, everyone just looked between the three names before Michael finally pulled his shirt back on and Isobel hurriedly redid her blouse. Max was slower to cover his up but Kyle had to give him credit for resisting looking over at Liz. 

“Right. So. Back to the question of the hour: what the fuck?” Isobel sat down heavily, her phone and her work completely forgotten.

Liz cleared her throat. “Since none of you seemed to realize they were there, I’m guessing they’re not causing you any pain? Do you know when they appeared?”

“They weren’t there last night,” Maria answered. Kyle’s heart went out to her. She was in a tough spot and he was about to make it worse.

“Okay so at some-”

Liz cut herself off when Kyle stood up. He ducked into his bedroom briefly to grab the file Alex had given him and then he just stood awkwardly in front of the group, everyone’s eyes on him.

“So,” he started. “I think I know what this is.”

“ _ How? _ ” Michael asked.

Kyle held up the file and Michael’s gaze darkened. He recognized the Project Shepherd files better than anyone. Kyle knew this was going to be an issue, knew that Michael and Alex had an agreement that Alex be upfront and honest about everything he found, but he didn’t have the energy to care about their issues right now. He had plenty of his own to deal with.

“Well?” Max asked. “What is it?”

Kyle cleared his throat. “These are reports of the prisoners at Caulfield. The studies show that at the time of their capture, about half of the prisoners had a mark tattooed on their chests. Now, the researchers at Caulfield didn’t know what they were since they were in a different language but several years later they started to figure it out. They, um, they interviewed-”

“Tortured,” all three aliens corrected.

Kyle nodded. “Yes. They tortured multiple prisoners until they revealed what the marks meant. This was corroborated later by the appearance of marks on those who did not previously have them.”

“And?” Isobel prompted when he stopped.

“The, uh, the marks, the  _ names _ , represent the one you-” he cleared his throat- “the one you love most in the world. The, uh, the darker the color the stronger the feeling.” Everyone in the room was frozen. Everyone except for Rosa, that is, whose face was slowly splitting in a wide grin. He barrelled on. “The mark is supposed to appear once you reach the age of maturity which apparently is about 30. You guys estimated that you were about 7 when you came out of the pods, right? That was about 22 years ago so it looks like you were only a little off. Not sure if this means you all share a birthday or it’s somehow tied to the time you spent in stasis but…” Kyle trailed off. 

Liz was struggling not to stare at Max. The last almost two years since Rosa’s resurrection and Max’s death had been hard. It took nearly a year and a half to get Max back and in that time Kyle and Liz had started up a new relationship. Liz always said that she wasn’t giving up hope on bringing Max back like he’d brought Rosa but she wasn’t going to put her life on pause for it either. Kyle had known from the second Max took his first breath that their days together were numbered even though Liz had been adamant on not giving up on them. But now…

Next to her, Isobel had a hand pressed to her chest as her cheeks flushed bright red. She was staring at everything and everyone except Maria. “You’re wrong,” she denied.

Kyle shook his head slowly. “You can look at the file,” he held it out. “The names started appearing in English on those young enough to have forgotten their own language. The marks corresponded with some of the names of other prisoners in Caulfield.” Isobel looked at the file like it would burn her if it came near her.

Maria stood up abruptly. “I need to go open the bar.” She fled before anyone could call her on her obvious lie. Michael reached out for her hand but she snatched hers away and he didn’t try to stop her. Kyle watched as she gave Isobel a wide berth.

“This was so worth getting up early today,” Rosa laughed.

\---

Liz hugged her knees as everyone filed out of Kyle’s apartment, Max casting her a lingering look over his shoulder as he went.

Once they had the place to themselves again, Kyle sagged against the opposite wall. “Well. I suppose that could’ve gone worse.”

“Kyle,” she said softly.

“It’s okay, Liz,” he told her. When she looked up, his eyes were kind. “When Alex gave me the file I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know when.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She let go of her knees and stood up. “I would’ve liked to know it was coming!”

Kyle shrugged. “Guess I was being selfish. I wanted more time with you.”

“Kyle,” Liz sighed. In a moment she was across the room and in his arms. He’d always given the best hugs. “I don’t know what to do with this.”

“Yeah you do,” Kyle pressed a kiss into her hair. “You love him, Liz. I’ve always known that. And now you know just how much he loves you.”

“That’s not- that doesn’t mean anything,” she protested as she pulled away. “I know he loves me but he still did something monumental without consulting me. I love him and I was heartbroken when he was gone and I’m overjoyed that he’s back but I can’t just forget that he committed suicide to resurrect my sister and didn’t even give me a head’s up.” She shook her head and started pacing. “He should have  _ asked  _ me! Or at the very least talked to me about it so we could decide together. How am I supposed to trust him after that?”

“He brought Rosa back,” he reminded her.

“I know. And I know I’m not supposed to be angry about that but goddamn it, I am. He just- he just decided to play God and leave the rest of us to deal with the consequences!” Liz shook her head. “And now, what? His alien DNA decides to proclaim to the world that I’m it for him and I’m expected to play along? Him having my name on his chest does not mean he gets to dictate my life.” 

Kyle stared at her, his mouth slightly agape. “Liz, you don’t mean that. You love him.”

“I do,” she agreed readily. “And I love you. And I don’t want to lose you, Kyle. This past year has been great. We’ve been great.” Liz reached out and fingered the hem of his shirt. “Please don’t let Max Evans tell us what we get to do and who we get to be with. That’s our choice, not his.”

Kyle smiled sadly and pulled her into a soft, sweet kiss.

\---

Maria had made sure the doors were locked when she arrived and she had no intention of opening them anytime soon. She grabbed a bottle of vodka from the bar and found a corner booth to curl up in. 

She threw back shot after shot as her mind whirred. Slowly, carefully, she tried to organize her thoughts. The facts were:

    1. Michael had Alex’s name over his heart.
    2. Which meant that Alex was the person he loved most in the world. 
    3. The darker the color the stronger the feeling and Alex’s name was so dark red it was nearly black.
    4. Isobel Evans had her name over her heart. 
    5. Michael swore, multiple times, that he and Alex were in the past.
    6. Michael swore, multiple times, that he couldn’t love Alex anymore.
    7. Isobel Evans had her name over her heart.
    8. Alex wasn’t there today.
    9. Alex knew what was going to happen.
    10. Alex knew it would be his name?
    11. _Isobel Evans had her name over her heart._



Vodka splashed over her hand and onto the table as a sharp banging started up on the front door. It startled her enough to miss the glass. “We’re closed!” She shouted as she used her sleeve to wipe up the spill. 

“It’s me!” Liz’s voice yelled back. “And me!” Added Rosa.

Maria sighed and forced herself to her feet. Slowly, she staggered over to the front door and pushed it open.

“Damn,” Rosa whistled. “You got started without us.”

Maria waved a hand in the air. “My boyfriend is apparently still very much in love with his ex he swore he was over and oh yeah his sister is in love with me. I get to drink.”

Liz wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed tightly as they walked back over to Maria’s booth. “Do you want to talk or just drink?” Maria poured herself another shot in response. “Oh good I was hoping you would say that.” Liz grabbed the bottle and poured a shot directly into her mouth.

Rosa quirked an eyebrow at Liz’s face as it scrunched up. “Want something better?”

Liz’s face slowly relaxed and she let out a breath. “Please?”

Maria snatched the bottle back while Rosa went to get her and Liz something else. Liz reached out to still her hand. “Slow down, maybe? Let us catch up?”

Maria looked from the bottle to her face and nodded slowly. A moment later, Rosa slid in next to Liz and passed out two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. The sisters quickly took one shot each and poured another.

“He has Alex’s name,” Maria whispered as they tossed back their second shot. Both of them stilled.

“Maria-”

“He told me he was over him. We talked about it,  _ so many times _ , before I agreed to be in a relationship with him and he promised me it was over and done.” Maria shook her head. “That was over a year ago. An entire year where they’ve barely even spoken because Alex can’t stand the sight of us and Michael still loves him that much. How could I be so blind?” She dropped her face into her hands, elbows planted on the table.

“Hey, no,” Rosa reached across the table and grabbed her wrist. “Michael’s the asshole here, okay? He wasn’t honest with you, hell I don’t think he was really honest with himself, if we’re being real. His reaction to Alex’s name was…”

“He couldn’t stop looking at it this morning,” Maria confessed. “He didn’t even notice until I pointed it out but then it was like he couldn’t take his eyes off of it.”

“Maybe Rosa’s right,” Liz said softly. “Maybe he wouldn’t have expected Alex’s name any more than you could have.”

Maria looked at her balefully. “How could he not know that he loves Alex? I can hardly breathe sometimes I love him so much but he just doesn’t notice he loves Alex more than anything else in this world?” She scoffed. “He’s not that good of a liar.”

“Maybe he’s really good at lying to himself?” Rosa tried. Maria just looked at her. “Want to talk about something else?” Maria nodded. “Isobel Evans has your na-”

“So are you getting back with Max?” Maria turned to Liz, cutting Rosa off. Rosa cackled and threw back another shot.

Liz glared at both of them. “Why should I throw away a damn good relationship just because he loves me? News flash, that doesn’t mean I have to be with him.” She poured herself another shot but didn’t drink it. “Why is that the immediate assumption? Kyle thought I was going to break up with him then and there.”

Maria exchanged a glance with Rosa. “Because Max is the love of your life?” Rosa replied slowly. “And everyone knows you were only with Kyle because Max was dead?”

Liz stared at her. “That’s not true!”

“Isn’t it?” Maria raised an eyebrow.

“I love Kyle!” She yelled.

“More than Max?” Rosa asked.

“Why does it have to be a competition? Why can’t I love two men?” Liz threw back the shot and slammed it down on the table. “I just- I hate this idea that just because we love each other we have to be together. Love isn’t everything. You need trust and to be comfortable around each other and- and-” She shook her head. “Love isn’t everything.”

“You don’t trust Max?” Maria asked quietly.

Liz closed her eyes and sighed deeply. “He killed himself to resurrect my sister and he couldn’t even give me a fucking courtesy call. I can’t- I can’t trust someone who makes decisions like that for me without telling me, without me being a part of them. And Kyle? Honestly, sometimes I think the safest place in the world is in Kyle’s arms.”

Silence.

Maria and Rosa both started laughing. “Aww,” Rosa cooed. Liz rolled her eyes good naturedly and pushed her sister off when she tried to hug her. “I mean gross because you’re my sister and that’s my brother you’re talking about but-”

“Are you ever going to stop saying that?” Liz glared at her.

Rosa pretended to think about it. “No.”

Maria shook her head at them. Her fingers played with the bottle in front of her but she didn’t move to pour another shot. She’d lost count of how many she’d had but she knew it was past time she stopped.

“How can I be with someone who’s in love with someone else?” Maria stared at the bottle. “I mean, Liz, I get your point, Max’s feelings don’t get to dictate your relationship but what would you do if Kyle woke up one day with someone else’s name written over his heart and every time you looked at it you’d know he loved someone more than you?”

Whatever mirth had existed before, it was gone now. Maria didn’t have to look up to know the smiles were gone from Liz and Rosa’s faces. Just like she didn’t have to look up to know that the sisters were exchanging silent glances. Without a word, Liz slid across the booth to snuggle into Maria’s chest, her arms wrapping around her waist while Rosa came around the table to sit on Maria’s other side. Her arms went around Maria’s shoulders and she pressed Maria’s head under her chin. It was a strange echo of how they dealt with broken hearts in high school, Rosa still always the biggest spoon even if she was technically the youngest now. 

“You’ll figure it out,” Rosa promised her quietly. “It may hurt like hell and it won’t be easy but you’ll figure it out.”

\---

“Izzy!” Isobel ignored Max.

“I have to go to work,” she called over her shoulder as she sped towards her car.

“Isobel!” She froze at Michael’s voice. As much as she dearly wished to, she couldn’t bring herself to run away from him, not after publicly declaring her love for his girlfriend, albeit involuntarily.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” she promised as she spun on her heel. “Maybe Kyle’s wrong! Maybe it means something else.”

“Kyle got that file from Alex,” Michael answered. “Alex wouldn’t give out that kind of information if he wasn’t 100% sure it was right.”

Isobel jumped on that. “Yeah, about Alex-”

“What about Maria?” He cut her off.

“What about her? If the mark names the person we love most why doesn’t yours say your girlfriend?”

“That’d be a bit awkward, wouldn’t you say? Both of us having the same woman’s name?” Michael glared at her for a second before glancing away. Isobel closed her eyes. 

“Michael-”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I don’t know.”

None of them said anything.

“Maria, Iz? Since when?” Max asked quietly.

Isobel cleared her throat and looked around, anywhere but at her brothers. “I don’t know! I didn’t- I’m not-” She stopped and took a deep breath. “I knew I had...feelings. I didn’t know it was- Michael, I swear I’m not trying to- I don’t even know.” Michael shook his head and walked away. “Michael!”

Michael ignored her, the slam of his truck door echoing around the parking lot. He peeled out with a squeal of his tires a second later.

Isobel stared after him before turning back to her own car. Max laid a hand on the crook of her elbow to stop her. “Isobel…”

“I didn’t choose this, Max,” she told him. “Any more than you chose to still be in love with a woman who chose someone else after you died for her sister.” She ripped her arm out of his grip. “It’s a shitty situation all around. Now I’m going to go to work and ignore literally all of this for as long as inhumanly possible.” 

\---

Michael knew it was a bad idea. He knew he was too angry to manage a civil conversation and he knew that they’d had far too many angry conversations to be able to handle another one right now and yet-

It was a 30 minute drive and he spent the entire time trying to talk himself into turning around. He was spectacularly unsuccessful.

“Alex!” He shouted as soon as he parked the truck. He didn’t even bother walking up to the door. “Alex!”

The front door opened slowly and Alex stepped out. His face was a blank mask and his body was stiff with tension. Truthfully, he looked like he was primed and ready to run. “Guerin,” he greeted cautiously, all the same.

“What the fuck is this mark bullshit?!” He stomped up the stairs. “And why didn’t you tell me? I thought we had an understanding. You don’t keep secrets about my family anymore. What happened to that, huh? You’re telling Valenti my business before me?” He was right up in Alex’s face now but Alex didn’t move. He didn’t even flinch.

“I take it the marks appeared, then.” Alex’s voice was calm and cool and it just stoked the fires of his anger. Michael wasn’t even entirely sure he knew what he was angry about but it felt good to rage.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I didn’t want to,” Alex answered simply.

Michael scoffed. “Since when do you get to decide what you share? What else haven’t you told me? What other secrets are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Alex told him, his voice still aggravatingly calm. If he was calmer himself, Michael might have noticed just how thin Alex’s mask was but he wasn’t and he didn’t. 

“Bullshit,” Michael spat. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? You expect me to trust you?”

That got a reaction.

“Fuck you,” Alex shoved his chest slightly and Michael took a step back. “I have never lied to you and I have never withheld anything from you.”

“And what do you call this?”

“Self preservation!” Alex shouted in his face. Michael blinked. 

“What?”

“Go away, Michael. Just- get the fuck out of here.” Alex turned on his heel and disappeared into the house. The door shut and the lock clicked behind him.

Michael unlocked the door without a thought and followed him inside. “What?”

Alex was in the kitchen, hands braced on the kitchen table. “Just leave, Michael. Please.”

“No. Not until you tell me what the hell keeping secrets has to do with your fucked up sense of self preservation.” Michael made it halfway to the kitchen before Alex whirled around, eyes blazing. He took a step back.

“Are you serious? Are you that cruel or just that stupid? Because I know you’re not oblivious.”

“Are you planning to make sense at any point or just insult me?”

Alex barked out a harsh laugh. “I get that you’ve moved on, I do. I’m happy for you. It hurts every time I see you two together but I really am happy for you. But fuck you if you think I was going to bear witness to her name appearing over your heart. I’m not that much of a masochist.”

Michael blinked. “Would you honestly care?”

Alex gaped at him. “You think just because you decided to move on, I could too? I finally accepted I was hopelessly in love with you and that’s not a genie I can put back into the bottle just because you decided you were over me.”

Michael blinked, suddenly feeling very off balance. “I don’t understand.”

“What’s there to understand?” Alex sighed heavily. He leaned back against the table, his legs not quite supporting his weight. “I’m in love with you and you’re not in love with me. I’ve accepted it and tried to be happy for you as much as I can be. But I’m not going to stare at her name on your chest and break my own heart all over again. I won’t do it. So yeah, I didn’t tell you about the marks. I gave the information to Kyle and decided that he could fill you all in when they showed up. He clearly has so I made the right decision. Now, please, get out.”

Michael pressed a hand over his mark as he processed Alex’s words. He’d thought he’d heard everything Alex had to say about them when they’d had it out a year ago but clearly he was wrong. 

“Michael,  _ please  _ leave.” Alex’s voice was quiet and weary. “Go home to your girlfriend. I’m sure she’s not happy you took time out of your happy day to come yell at me.”

“I think she’s pretty pissed at me actually.”

“Then you should go make it up to her.”

Michael didn’t move. 

Alex sighed. “What more could you possibly want right now?”

Without really thinking about it, Michael took his shirt off. At the first flash of bare skin, Alex turned away. “Do you really hate me that much? I just said I don’t-”

“Just look,” Michael ordered gently. 

Alex shook his head, his eyes firmly on the floor. “Why are you doing this?”

“Alex,” Michael’s voice cracked a little. “Just fucking look.”

Alex squeezed his eyes shut before taking a deep breath and lifting his head. His eyes were still closed but Michael could make out a few tears spilling onto his cheeks. “I look and then you leave?”

“Yes,” Michael agreed. He had no idea what he was doing.

Alex sighed then slowly cracked his eyes open. Michael knew the second he saw the mark because his eyes opened wide and his mouth fell open. His hand came up and hovered in the space between them. “Wha- I don’t-” Michael didn’t move as Alex slowly closed the gap between them, his fingers reaching for the mark. 

Michael remembered touching it himself earlier that morning and it’s complete banality and didn’t think to stop him. That was a mistake.

At the very first brush of Alex’s fingertips across the mark, his skin exploded in fire. Every nerve was suddenly alight and his whole body tingled. He flinched away from Alex’s touch before his mind registered that it wasn’t pain but pleasure. Even so, once the distance was there Michael couldn’t bridge it again. He turned and fled without another word, just left Alex staring after him as he ran out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

For someone who had to watch the love of his life be happy with someone else, Max was feeling pretty okay most days. He knew he loved Liz, the mark on his chest didn’t change that. It didn’t change much of anything if he was being honest. No, he was doing all right. It was the rest of his world that had gone to shit.

Max had never fully appreciated the role Isobel played for ten years in keeping the three of them together. Without her, he and Michael would have fallen apart years ago with little hope of reconciliation. Now, it was his turn to play mediator with his siblings and he couldn’t help but feel like he was failing at it. In the month or so since the marks appeared, since Isobel opened her shirt to reveal Michael’s girlfriend’s name imprinted on her skin, things between them had been...tense. Max wasn’t entirely sure they’d spoken since then.

There was the gentle thud of a body collapsing on one of his chairs and Max looked up to see Alex’s slumped form sprawled across the counter to his right. Wordlessly, he poured a cup of coffee and slid it across until it nudged Alex’s arm. Alex hissed as a splash of coffee spilled out over the rim at the collision. He didn’t bother wiping it off, instead just grabbing the coffee and taking a generous sip, heedless of the burn.

“Thanks,” he muttered when he put it down.

“Breakfast will be ready in five,” Max replied.

Alex shook his head. “I’ve gotta get to work.” He took another large sip. “Still gotta go home and change.”

“Can’t spare a few minutes to shove some food in your mouth?”

Alex looked at him then at the stove then back at him. “I’ll stop at McDonald’s.”

“Hey!” Max yelled, not offended in the least. He was self aware enough to know his cooking left something to be desired. His eggs weren’t  _ that _ bad though.

“Max!” Alex’s whole body tensed at Michael’s shout. The door slammed shut a moment later and they both sat in silence listening to Michael’s footsteps across the house. “Do you know what’s going on with this thi- Alex?” 

Max watched Michael skid to a stop at the sight of the man hunched over his kitchen counter same as he watched Alex close his eyes and let a little tension seep out of him at Michael’s voice. Try as he might, as many late night drunken conversations as they had, Max would never understand their relationship.

“Morning, Michael,” he greeted instead. “Breakfast?”

Alex chugged the rest of his coffee and stood up. “Thanks for the coffee, Max.” He shoved the mug across the counter back to him before turning around. For a second, neither one of them moved. They just stood staring at each other across the room before finally Alex forced himself into motion. “Michael,” he nodded to him as he brushed past him. The front door shut softly a moment later.

“What the hell was Alex doing here?” Michael glared at him. There was a look in his eyes that Max had never seen before. On anyone else Max would have called it jealousy or betrayal or even pained rage but Michael had never been one to get jealous. Not even when Maria’s name showed up on Isobel.

“He had too much to drink last night so he stayed over,” Max answered.

“Since when are you two drinking buddies?”

Max shrugged and turned the stove off. “Turns out we have some things in common. It’s not exactly easy to see the love of your life be happy with someone else. It’s lonely but we both get it so we’ve been commiserating.”

“Don’t,” Michael barked.

Max looked up. “Don’t what? Don’t talk to Alex? You don’t really get a say in that, Michael.” He plated the eggs and grabbed some bacon for each plate. Michael didn’t say he was staying but he’d never turned down a free meal. He carried both over to the table and set one in front of where Michael was still standing.

“Don’t call me the love of his life,” Michael ground out as he pulled the chair out to sit down.

Max paused on his way to the fridge and glanced over his shoulder. “Why? It’s the truth. If you think it isn’t you’re lying to yourself.” He grabbed the salsa and joined Michael at the table. Silently, they ate their breakfast, the only words spoken being when Michael asked him to pass the salsa.

“What’d you come over here for?” Max asked as he started doing the dishes.

“I don’t remember,” Michael was quiet. He stood up to leave. “Don’t- don’t hang out with Alex. It’s weird.”

“And here I thought you’d want us to get along.” That earned him another glare as Michael turned and left.

He barely had a moment alone before his phone started ringing, Isobel’s name flashing on the screen.

“Hey, Iz,” he answered.

“Have you seen Michael?” She didn’t bother with a ‘hello’. 

“Yeah, he just left. Why?” 

Isobel let out a breath. “Liz called. Apparently Maria hasn’t seen him in a few days.”

“You could have tried calling him. He had his phone on him.” Isobel didn’t say anything. “Iz, you two can’t just not talk to each other.”

She scoffed. “Says you.” She hung up.

Max tossed the phone onto the counter with a groan. How in the hell did Isobel keep them together for so many years?

\---

“Why do I feel like the bad guy here?” Maria flopped onto her bed with a groan. “I mean, I’m not being unreasonable, right?”

Rosa eased onto the bed next to her with considerable more grace, if she did say so herself. “You’re not. It’s a shitty situation.”

“He loves me, I know he does,” Maria continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “And I love him so much but I just- I can’t- you know we haven’t had sex since the damn marks appeared?” Rosa sat up and looked at her. “We tried but the second he took his shirt off and I saw Alex’s name I had to get out of there. Next time we tried with his shirt on but all I could think about is  _ why _ he had his shirt on and I couldn’t. I keep- I want Liz to be right, I want the marks to not mean anything, to not let it dictate my life but-”

“But it’s there and you can’t ignore it,” Rosa finished for her when she trailed off.

“Yeah,” Maria sighed.

“So now what?”

“I don’t know,” Maria groaned into her hands. “How can I be with him when I know he loves Alex more? Fuck! Do you remember how dark the mark is? It’s darker than  _ Max’s _ .” Rosa didn’t say anything. She was acutely aware of just how much Max loved her sister but she didn’t think Maria needed it pointed out to her right now. 

“But you love him,” Rosa reminded her.

“I do,” Maria nodded. “I really do. And I have loved being with him and I want to continue to be with him, for the rest of my life if I could.”

“Then find a way to look past the mark,” Rosa advised. “Liz was right, a trick of alien genetics shouldn’t get to dictate your life.”

Maria didn’t say anything. For a long while, they just sat and stared at the ceiling. Eventually, Rosa pulled out a joint and they passed it back and forth.

“I want him to be happy,” Maria admitted quietly. “That’s all I want.”

“He  _ is _ happy, Maria,” Rosa told her. “A blind man could see it.”

“But what if he could be happier?” She let her head roll to the side to look at her. “What if I’m holding him back from being really, truly happy? What if Alex is the key to that and I’m just standing in their way?”

Rosa pushed up onto her elbows and looked at her. “I missed like all of the Michael and Alex relationship drama-”

“We all missed it,” Maria told her.

“Ok fine, so no one really knows what’s going on with them,” Rosa allowed. “But what I do know? What I’ve seen? Is that they fucked it up. Them. Both of them. Not you. If Michael wanted to be with Alex, then I’m sure he would be but he wants to be with you. You’re not standing in the way of their happiness, Maria. If anyone is, I think it’s Michael. And Michael chose you.”

Maria blinked up at her slowly. “And he broke Alex’s heart to do it.”

Rosa sighed. “Yeah. He did. And so did you.” Maria looked away. “It sucks but it’s the truth and you know it.”

“If I’d just pushed Michael away, this all could’ve been avoided.”

“Maybe,” Rosa agreed. “But do you think you would’ve been happier not knowing? Even if it all crashes and burns, at least you know. You don’t have to wonder what you and he could’ve been.”

“I’d still have Alex,” Maria replied. “I wouldn’t have lost my best friend over a guy.”

Rosa hugged her. “He’s not just a guy though, is he? He’s the love of your life.”

Maria didn’t say anything as Rosa stroked her hair. “I don’t know that he is,” she murmured into Rosa’s shirt. “I love him and I could be happy with him for the rest of my life but I don’t know that he’s  _ it _ , you know?” 

Rosa stilled her hand. “What do you mean?”

Maria sat up and Rosa let her hands fall away. “I mean...what does that really mean? Love of my life? ‘The one’?” She put up air quotes. “Does it mean the one and only? The only person I can be happy with? The person I care about above and beyond all others? The one who has ruined me for anyone else?”

Rosa shrugged. “Yeah? I think so?”

“Then I don’t know if that’s Michael.” Maria shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. “I love him,” she repeated. “And losing him would hurt and it would suck but I’d be okay. I know if we break up that I could move on and be happy with someone else eventually. It would take a while and it would suck so much but I know that eventually I could do it. I don’t- if Michael was trapped in a burning building with my mom and you and Liz, I don’t know that I’d look for him first? I love him but not at the expense of anyone else. I just- shouldn’t he be  _ more _ ? Shouldn’t it feel like I can’t survive without him?”

Rosa didn’t know what to say. 

“Max killed himself to bring you back because he knew what it would mean for Liz and Alex signed himself up for more years of service and another deployment to keep Michael safe and I just- I don’t know that I would be willing to do something like that for Michael.” She turned to Rosa. “Shouldn’t I? Isn’t that what it means?”

“I don’t think it needs to be all consuming,” Rosa said hesitantly. She was really not the best person to give this speech. “I think it’s more important that you make each other happy and that you support each other and love each other. I mean, Max and Alex made grand gestures but ultimately, Liz and Michael both chose to be with someone else. Someone who is steady and supportive and who love them as much as they love you and Kyle. It’s the day to day stuff more than the big moments, right?”

“Yeah,” Maria agreed quietly but Rosa could tell she wasn’t quite on board. They finished off the joint in silence.

“You talk to Isobel yet?” Rosa had to ask.

“No,” Maria denied immediately. “And I’m perfectly fine keeping it that way.”

“You should probably talk to her at some point. She has your name,” Rosa pointed out.

“And that’s her problem. I’m not responsible for her feelings.” Maria pushed off of the bed in a huff. “It does suck for Michael, though. He doesn’t know what to do with it and I don’t think he’s spoken to her since.”

“Yeah I bet that’s a little awkward. But then again he doesn’t have your name so it could’ve been worse.” Maria picked up a pillow and pelted her with it. Rosa snatched it out of the air and threw it back. She laughed as it bounced off of Maria’s face. “Okay, okay, I won’t talk about Isobel anymore.”

“Thank you,” Maria huffed. She looked around her. “Where’s my phone?”

Rosa looked at Maria’s purse lying right next to her on the bed, her phone falling out as it lay on its side. “Uh, you okay?” Maria looked at her then at her purse and huffed again. She scooped it up and checked her phone. Rosa watched her face fall. “Still nothing from Michael?”

Maria shook her head. “I don’t know where he is. It’s been days.”

“He’ll be home soon,” Rosa assured her. “He’s probably just processing.”

“Yeah,” Maria agreed sardonically. “Processing. Weeks after it all happened he suddenly needs to disappear into thin air to figure it all out. Makes total sense.”

“Maria,” Rosa said calmly.

“I know,” she groaned. “But we’re all processing, okay? And we all manage not to just up and vanish.” Just then her phone rang. She grabbed it quickly before sighing in disappointment. “Hey, Liz,” she answered. “He was? Okay thanks.” She hung up. Rosa raised an eyebrow in question. “Michael was apparently just at Max’s.”

“Liz talked to Max?” Rosa was surprised. She was pretty sure her sister was avoiding any one-on-one contact with the man at the moment.

Maria shook her head. “She asked Isobel but Isobel isn’t talking to Michael at the moment so she called Max.”

Rosa shook her head. “You all need to figure this shit out. We can’t keep playing phone tree to talk to each other. What if something happens?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Maria tossed the phone in her purse. “I’m going to go home and take a very long, very hot shower and hopefully relax. Or something.” She gave Rosa a little wave and left.

\---

Maria was really looking forward to that shower. Too bad she wasn’t going to get it. At least, not yet.

Michael was home when she walked in. She’d seen the truck outside but she hadn’t really believed it until she saw him standing in the bedroom.

“What is this?” She stared at the open boxes and the half filled suitcase. Michael didn’t look at her as he emptied out a drawer. “Michael!”

He stopped, a t-shirt balled up between his hands. “We both know this was coming.”

Maria opened her mouth but nothing came out. She tried again. “I’m feeling pretty blindsided for someone who apparently knew this was coming. I don’t see or hear from you for days and now you’re packing your stuff? Did I miss a conversation?”

Michael shook his head and stood up. He was wearing an old plaid shirt with only about half of the buttons done up. It wasn’t unusual for Michael, it was honestly how he always dressed, but he’d been buttoning his shirt correctly the last few weeks and Maria got a vivid reminder as to why. The shirt gaped open slightly as he turned to her and Alex’s name was still there. She looked away.

“Maria, you can’t even look at me,” Michael said softly. “We don’t have sex, you flinch when I touch you, what did you expect?”

And just like that she was angry. The last month she’d buried the anger under the hurt and the confusion but it was rising within her with a fury. “What did I  _ expect _ ? I expected you to be honest with me! I expected you to talk to me! I expected you to love  _ me _ !” She let out a shuddering breath. “What would you have done if I hadn’t come home just now? Would you have said anything? Or just let me come home to all of your stuff gone?”

He looked away.

“So this is it, huh? A year of our lives just down the drain.” A few tears fell onto her cheeks but she brushed them off. “Did this mean anything to you?”

“Of course it did! Maria, I love you!” Michael took a step towards her, earnestness written plainly on his face. “I don’t want this to end but I don’t know how it can’t.”

“So  _ talk _ to me!”

He swallowed and nodded. “Ok. Let’s talk. Can you ever get past the mark? Will you ever be able to kiss me or touch me or have sex with me with it there? Because it’s not going away and it’s not going to change.”

Maria felt the last little bit of her heart break. “It’s not going to change?” She repeated.

Michael sighed. “I looked through the file Kyle gave us. According to the prisoners at Caulfield, no one’s mark ever changed once it appeared. I don’t know why but it didn’t.”

She didn’t want to know but she had to ask- “and if it  _ could _ , would it? Would you ever love me more?”

Michael didn’t answer.

“Fucking hell, Michael, why are we together?” She wanted to rage but she suddenly didn’t have the energy for it. “If you love him so much, why be with me?”

“Just because I love him doesn’t mean I want to be with him. Love isn’t everything.”

Maria scoffed. “Maybe not everything but it’s not nothing. He’s- hell, he’s basically your soulmate.” Michael flinched. “And you knew that.” She let out a watery laugh. “You knew that from the very beginning and you lied to me. I asked you,  _ repeatedly _ , if you still loved him, if you cared about him, if you had any romantic feelings for him  _ at all _ and you said no. You denied it every time.” She shrugged helplessly. “Why?”

“Because if I told you the truth you wouldn’t be with me,” he admitted quietly. “And I love you, Maria. I want to be with you. I love being with you.”

She nodded slowly. “But you love him more. And you will always love him more.”

“That’s not important.”

“Fuck you! It is important. To me and to Alex! Have you thought about what you’re doing to him?”

Michael glared. “I didn’t do it alone.”

“No,” she agreed easily. “I played my part in wrecking our friendship and hurting him and I will never be able to make that up to him but dammit Michael I’m not the love of his life. I’m not the one who loves him more than anything and then said it wasn’t enough.” She paused. “Does he even know? Has anyone told him you have his name?”

“Yeah, he knows,” Michael told her. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Stop saying that! It matters!”

“No, it doesn’t! Love doesn’t mean anything. Love didn’t stop him from walking away again and again and again. Love didn’t stop his family from murdering my mother. Love didn’t stop his father from smashing a hammer into my hand.” Maria gasped. She’d never heard the true story of how Michael’s hand got broken. Michael shook his head and took a step back. “Yeah, okay, I love him more than anything. So what?”

“And love didn’t stop you from breaking his heart and moving on with his best friend,” Maria added quietly. Michael closed his eyes. “The hurt doesn’t just go one way, Michael. You hurt him too.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But hey, I love him so it’s all okay right?”

“No! It’s worse because you can hurt him more than anyone else just like he can hurt you!” He opened his mouth to reply but she put her hand up. “But I don’t want to talk about you and Alex, I want to talk about you and  _ me _ .” She closed her eyes briefly. “Michael, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he replied automatically.

“But I don’t want you to be with me because you love me  _ less _ .”

“That’s not why,” he protested.

“No?” She arched an eyebrow. “Correct me if I’m wrong here but part of what you love about being with me is that it’s comfortable and easy. We don’t fight, not really, and we don’t hurt each other.” She paused. “You’re with me  _ because _ I can’t hurt you like he can. And that- that’s not good enough for me.”

“Maria, I’m with you because I love you and being with you makes me happy.”

“You could be happier with him,” Maria countered. The tears were falling freely now. “I don’t- Michael I don’t make you laugh,” she sighed. “The biggest smiles I’ve ever seen on your face have come when you’re with Isobel or Liz. I can’t imagine how big you’d smile if you had a few minutes of peace with Alex.”

He worked his jaw. “Okay, so you don’t make me laugh. You don’t make me cry, either. Not like he does.”

“Isn’t that what it’s supposed to be, though? The highest highs and the lowest lows?”

“I don’t want that,” he denied with a shake of his head. “I don’t want the lowest lows. I want to be content.”

Maria nodded slowly. “And I want more than content.”

“Maria-” he reached for her but she stepped out of his grasp.

“You asked me if I could ever get over it. The mark. If I could ever kiss you and touch you and sleep with you knowing and seeing that it’s there and I’m sorry, Michael, I don’t think I can. I can’t be with you when the writing on your skin tells me every day that I’m second best. And I am, you just said so yourself,” she cut off his objection. “You will always love Alex more. And I can’t- and I  _ won’t _ compete with that.” She looked around the room at his boxes and suitcase. “I’m going to go to the bar. I’m guessing you’re headed to Max’s?”

Michael nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you? For what?”

He blinked. “That it’s ending.”

“Michael, I’m ending it. You don’t need to apologize. The only apology I want from you is for lying to me about your feelings for Alex and I don’t think you’re ever going to apologize for that, are you? Because you’d do it again, wouldn’t you?” 

“I just wanted to be happy,” his voice was barely a murmur. Maria blinked back her tears and crossed the room slowly. When she reached Michael she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight.

“I want you to be happy,” she told him. “But it can’t be with me because I want to be happy too.”

“We were happy together,” he reminded her.

“We were,” she agreed. “But that was based on a lie. And now that I know it, I can’t do it anymore.” She pressed a kiss to his neck and pulled away. “I won’t be home until late so you should have plenty of time to pack up everything.”

\---

“I come bearing donuts!” Isobel kicked the door closed behind her. It was early but she had a busy schedule today so she was trying to get this out of the way fast.

“Did you get those ones with the creme filling?” Max asked as she walked into the kitchen. He’d clearly just woken up, the imprint of the pillow crease still evident on his face. 

“No, Max, she suddenly forgot your favorite type of donut after 20 years,” Michael sassed from behind her. Isobel tensed involuntarily. He reached past her and grabbed a chocolate glazed donut before retreating. Max glared at him over her shoulder before grabbing one of his precious creme filled donuts. 

It had been three weeks since Michael and Maria broke up and Michael moved into Max’s spare room. In those three weeks, Max had begged Isobel to come over at least once for breakfast and once for dinner each week. It was his version of forced bonding, she supposed. 

“So,” Michael asked as he fell back into a chair. He was wearing a t-shirt with his boxers and it suddenly struck Isobel that she had no idea when the last time she’d seen his bare chest was. For someone who hated buttons and preferred to sleep in as little clothing as possible, it was odd. But she could understand it. Isobel couldn’t remember the last time she looked at herself in the mirror without clothes on. 

She grabbed a donut of her own and a napkin before settling into a chair opposite Michael, Max settling somewhere between them as he often did these days. “So?” She prompted when Michael didn’t continue.

“Maria,” he said simply.

Isobel froze briefly before forcing herself to act normal. “How are things between you these days?”

Max looked between them warily as Michael polished off his donut. He summoned another one from the box and leaned forward to catch it. “We’re done. Over. Finito.” He licked some glaze off of his finger. “What about you?”

“Me?” She swallowed. “I haven’t spoken to her in months.”

“Why not?”

She dropped the donut to glare at him. “You know damn well why not.”

“You know, I really don’t.”

“No?” She arched an eyebrow. “How’s Alex? Talk to him any time recently?” Michael clenched his jaw but didn’t answer. “And Liz?” She turned to Max. “How’s she doing these days?” Max looked away too. “Oh look, we’re all fucked up!”

“Izzy,” Michael said lowly. 

“ _ What _ , Michael? What do you want?”

“Maria?”

Isobel closed her eyes. “What do you want me to say? It’s nothing, okay? I get her name on my skin for what will apparently be the rest of my life and it means nothing.”

“As I have been recently informed, quite loudly I might add, it means  _ something _ ,” Michael told her quietly.

She scoffed. “It means that I spent months working through the madness of what Noah did to me, trying to untangle what I thought I felt for him from what I might maybe have  _ actually _ felt and the closest I ever came to understanding is when I spent time with Maria. She- she helped me through it in ways I still don’t understand but what I do know is I spent so long trying to figure out what love actually felt like because apparently I’ve been wrong my whole life and I finally start to get an idea only it’s my brother’s girlfriend and I can’t actually process that, okay? It means that I care about her but I know that she’ll never feel that way about me and even if she did I can’t do anything about it because you love her.” She shook her head. “It means nothing, okay? Nothing good and nothing worth dwelling on.” She finished her donut. “Grab me another?” She asked Michael and her second donut came flying into the room a moment later. “Thanks.”

They finished off their donuts in silence.

As she was headed for the door, Michael finally said, “you have her name, Izzy.”

“I fucking know th-” Isobel whirled on him.

“It means something,” Michael cut her off. “And if at some point in the future you two get to the point where it might become something? Don’t let me stop you. Please.  _ You _ have her name, Isobel. Not me. So don’t let my feelings get in the way of yours.”

Isobel stared at him, disbelieving. “What?”

“She and I are done, Isobel. Primarily because I couldn’t love her enough,” he admitted. “You won’t have that problem. She’ll never doubt how you feel. Now I can’t speak for how she feels but whatever happens between you two, don’t let me be a factor. Please. I don’t want to ruin that for you.”

Isobel shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t-”

“Maybe not right now,” Michael agreed. He smiled sadly. “But who knows what the future brings, right?” Isobel just shook her head again and Michael finally just grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into a hug. Isobel sank into it immediately, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck as he held her close. She’d always loved Michael’s hugs, the way he made her feel safe. In the past few months, she’d sorely missed them.

“Thank you,” she whispered into his neck.

“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Though it’s really not something you need to thank me for.”

“Thank you for being my brother.”

“Always, Izzy. Always.”

\---

She was supposed to be at work. She’d already spent too long at Max’s house, unable to pull herself away from Michael’s embrace, and now she was headed in the opposite direction of her office on a fool’s errand practically guaranteed to blow up in her face. Isobel hurried into one store after another until she had everything and then she drove straight to Maria’s apartment before she could second guess herself.

Maria opened the door after the second round of knocking. Her eyes were bloodshot and the way she squinted at the sunlight told Isobel that she’d just woken up. Whatever sleepiness she was feeling fled instantly at the sight of Isobel, though. 

“Hi,” Isobel greeted brightly before shoving her way inside. Maria didn’t even try to block her, just stepped out of her way as she breezed through to the kitchen and dropped the bags on the table.

“What are you doing here?” Maria’s voice was rough with sleep but even that couldn’t hide the trepidation in her tone.

Isobel ignored it. “I have movies and chocolate and junk food and wine.” She started pulling everything out of the bag until Maria grabbed her wrist.

“Isobel-”

“Can we just ignore the elephant in the room?” Isobel pleaded. “Just- forget about it?”

“Honestly?” Maria raised her eyebrow.

“Yes,” Isobel replied. “Because I would really like to. We’re friends, Maria. And sure, maybe I have more feelings than just friendly ones but I don’t want that to ruin anything between us. I like being your friend and I want to continue being your friend. Please don’t let this,” she waved a hand at her chest, “change that.” She paused. “Please.”

Maria looked unsure but eventually she nodded. “So what’s all this?” She finally let go of Isobel’s wrist but her touch lingered.

“Um,” Isobel cleared her throat and shook her wrist a little. “You uh- you made me a care package of sorts after Noah died. I didn’t need it, obviously, but I figured it was the sort of thing you would want after a breakup so…” 

Maria looked at the table and then back at her. “I broke up with your brother,” she reminded her.

“So?”

“So...shouldn’t you be on his side?”

Isobel shook her head. “There are no sides. And like I said I’m your friend, so let me be your friend.”

Maria searched her face for a second before giving her a small smile and a sharp nod. “Okay. Spoil me, Evans.” Isobel let out a sigh of relief as Maria dropped into a chair and let Isobel show her all of the things she’d brought. “You know,” Maria said slowly once she was done. “It’s pretty pathetic to watch romcoms all by yourself.”

Isobel couldn’t help but glance at the clock. “I’m supposed to be at work…”

“Who said I was inviting you?” Maria grinned. Isobel flushed and tried not to squirm. “I’m working tonight but tomorrow is all freed up for wallowing in my heartbreak. You free?”

Isobel smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m free.” 

Maria’s grin softened. “Good. Come by around 7?”

“I’ll bring tacos.”

“Perfect.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Evans,” Kyle greeted when Max opened the door. Max’s grip tightened on the door like he was about to slam it in his face.

“Valenti,” Max returned. “Something wrong?”

“Nope, just wanted to talk to you, if that’s alright.”

Max stepped back. “Couldn’t talk to me tonight? I hear we’re all getting together for dinner.”

“Yeah, but that’s with everyone and I wanted to talk to you one-on-one.” Kyle walked through to the living room without waiting for Max’s reaction. The door closed loudly behind him.

“What do you want to talk about?” Max followed him.

Kyle smirked. “I don’t know. What do you think I could possibly want to talk to you about?”

Max folded his arms across his chest. “Liz.”

“Liz,” Kyle agreed. “We both love her.”

“We do.”

“Do you think we could make that work?”

Max looked at him, confused. “Make what work?”

“I haven’t really talked to Liz about it, yet, because I wanted to see what you thought first, but what if we could make it work. Both of us, loving Liz. And, I don’t know, becoming friends ourselves.”

“Are you- are you trying to suggest that we _both_ date Liz?”

“No,” Kyle denied, even though that was exactly what he was doing. “I just wanted to see if that would be something we could agree to. I love Liz and I know that Liz loves me. I also know that she loves you and literally everyone knows how much you love her. She’s caught in between us, even if she won’t admit it, and I’m too selfish to just walk away. So I’m seeing if there’s an alternative that we could work out.” He paused. “Is there?”

“I, uh, I don’t know,” Max stammered.

Kyle nodded once. “That’s not a straight up no,” he mused. “Think it over. Once you decide, we can talk to Liz.” He turned to go.

“Wait!” Max called. Kyle paused. “Does that mean you’d be okay with that? With both of us dating her?”

Kyle smiled. “I love her and I want her to be happy. I don’t really care about the specifics.” This time, Max didn’t stop him.

\---

“If you ever need gay sex tips, I can recommend some good porn.” Max whirled around to see Michael standing in the middle of the kitchen eating a yogurt. 

“Have you been there the whole time?”

Michael nodded.

“Fuck.”

\---

Liz wasn’t sure who convinced her dad to close early but it was nice to have the Crashdown to themselves. It had been a long while since everyone had gotten together, since before the mark reveal really, and it was nice to be able to get together without any pressure. They weren’t at someone’s house and there weren’t any potential eavesdroppers to whatever conversation they may have. They were free to relax and enjoy themselves and each other’s company and she was grateful for it. 

“Thank you for putting this together,” she kissed Kyle’s cheek. He had been the one to send out the group text but he insisted it wasn’t his idea. In fact, he’d been very tight lipped about whose idea it was. 

“My pleasure,” he pressed a quick kiss to her lips and rubbed gently circles on her thigh. “It’s nice to see everyone.”

“It is,” she agreed, looking around. The seating arrangement brought a smile to her face if maybe not for the right reasons. Michael, Alex, and Maria had strategically placed themselves as far apart as they could get for a relatively small group (Liz still hadn’t gotten the full story of the breakup from Maria but she could tell it hadn’t helped matters between Michael and Alex) which put Maria next to Isobel and Michael at the end next to Rosa. Alex was across from Rosa between Isobel and Max and looked surprisingly okay with it. While conversation was a little stilted to begin with, everything everyone carefully wasn’t saying filling the space between them, Rosa somehow forced them into acting normal. 

It wasn’t until she and Rosa were cleaning up that it occurred to Liz that she still didn’t know whose idea this all was. 

“Hey,” she called over to the table from where she stood behind the counter. “Who do we have to thank for tonight?” She walked over. “Kyle said he just sent the message but someone else wanted us all here. It was a good idea and I’m glad we did it.”

Alex cleared his throat. “Actually, it was my idea.” Everyone looked at him in surprise. Of all of them, he’d been the most withdrawn from the group, even before the marks were revealed. “I have some news to share and I thought it would be best if everyone was together so I only had to do it once.” It was impossible to miss the way Michael tensed at the end of the table. “I’m, uh, I’m being deployed, I leave on Monday.” He held up a hand to stop everyone’s reactions. “And when I get back I won’t be coming back to Roswell. I’m being relocated to Andrews in Maryland.”

“Alex,” Liz gasped. “No.” She shook her head.

“I thought you said you couldn’t be deployed again because of your leg,” Kyle protested.

Alex shrugged. “I can’t go into active combat but they need someone with my skills and training on site overseas so I’m being shipped out.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Michael spat. Alex’s face went blank and he squared his shoulders. 

“Don’t worry, Guerin, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.” 

Liz actually flinched away from the force of Michael’s glare but Alex didn’t even blink. He stared Michael down for another moment before turning back to the rest of the table. “So I have a few days before I have to leave but I need to get everything packed up and shipped out to Andrews so I can report straight there when I get back. Anyone free to help?”

“Of course,” Liz offered straight away.

“How long’s your deployment?” Rosa asked, a strange tone in her voice. Liz realized this was the first time Rosa would have to deal with Alex going overseas. The first three times, Liz and Alex had only been in minimal contact but it was still nerve wracking. She’d thought she was done worrying about him but apparently not.

“I can’t tell you that,” he smiled sadly.

“Where are you going?” She asked instead.

“I can’t tell you that,” he replied. 

Rosa scoffed. “You’re just being a dick.”

Alex laughed. “No, it’s classified so I really can’t say. I probably won’t even be able to be in contact with anyone so any emails or texts will have to wait until I get to Andrews.” Michael’s chair scraped loudly across the floor as he shoved himself to his feet. Alex ignored him but Liz couldn’t help but watch as he finished clearing the table as angrily as a person could. 

“How long will you be at Andrews?” Rosa tried.

“I don’t know. It could go to the end of my enlistment or I could get a new posting. I go where they need me to go. To be honest, I’m surprised I’ve stayed in Roswell as long as I have. And,” he cut Rosa off as she opened her mouth for another question, “I’ve got three years left on my enlistment.”

“So worst case scenario, you’re going to leave on Monday and not come home for three years?” 

Liz’s heart sank when Alex didn’t answer. 

“Alex?” Max asked softly. “You’re going to come home when your enlistment is up, right?”

“No,” Michael answered from across the room. “In three years he’ll be five years away from retirement so he’s just going to re-up again.” He pushed through the doors to the kitchen. As soon as he disappeared, there was a loud crash. Liz had a feeling her dad just lost a stack of dishes.

“Is he right?” Kyle asked. Alex looked away before meeting his gaze.

“I haven’t made any decisions yet.”

“But it’s possible,” Kyle pushed.

“Sure. Anything’s possible.”

Liz had the terrible feeling that Alex was going to drive away on Monday and they weren’t going to see him again. “Even if you do, you can come home and visit,” she reminded him. “And we can come see you in Maryland or wherever you are.” Alex’s smile was guarded but he nodded all the same. 

“Definitely.”

“You’re coming back.” It wasn’t a suggestion. “This is home and you’re coming back,” Isobel stared him down. Alex just gave her the same smile and nod he’d given Liz. 

“Look, it’s late,” he stood up. “I’ve got a lot I need to get done in the next few days so I’m going to head home.” 

Rosa hurried around the table to hug him. Alex smiled and kissed her hair. “It’s not goodbye, Rosa. I promise.”

“Yeah but you’re leaving,” she reminded him.

“Not yet. Still got a few more days.”

“We have to throw you a going away party,” she spun to face Isobel. “Evans can plan it.”

“No!” Alex threw out a hand to stop Isobel from saying anything. “Really. I don’t want a fuss.”

“Tough shit, Manes,” Isobel told him. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it classy.”

Alex looked like he would dearly like to argue but they’d all long learned their lesson when it came to arguing with Isobel. They never won. “Small,” he pleaded. She nodded in acquiescence. “Thank you. Good night, everyone.” He extricated himself from Rosa’s grasp and left. 

Michael came out of the kitchen a moment later. He took only a second to note Alex’s absence before he was following after him. 

“I really don’t think-!” Kyle stood up and yelled after him but Michael ignored him and slammed the door shut. “Now’s a good time,” he added softly as he sat down.

“Alex!” Michael’s voice was clearly audible from inside. They all turned to look out the window. Alex had stopped just at the edge of the glass but still in full view of everyone inside as Michael stalked after him. “What the fuck?!”

\---

It was really too much to ask for Michael to just let him go, wasn’t it? He’d managed to tell everyone and leave before anyone got too emotional but _of course_ Michael couldn’t respect his carefully laid plans.

“What?” He turned around with a heavy sigh. “I’m in the military, Guerin, you knew this was a possibility.”

“You said you weren’t getting deployed,” Michael accused when he was barely a step away. His shoulders were tense with poorly concealed anger. If Alex looked closely he thought he could see worry in Michael’s eyes but that was probably just wishful thinking.

“Into active combat,” he clarified. “Nothing preventing me from sitting behind a desk somewhere not here.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure why you’re so surprised, honestly. You’re not an idiot, no matter how much you like to act like one. We both know I only managed to stay in Roswell this long to shut down Project Shepherd and now that that’s done, it’s back to my regularly scheduled duties. Which yes, include being deployed and relocated.”

“So what that’s it? You’re just going to leave again?”

Alex laughed mirthlessly and shook his head. “Yes, Michael. I’m in the military. It happens.” Michael clenched his jaw. “I _told_ you this would happen. Right when I re-upped I told you I would probably be relocated and I asked you to come with me when that happened and you laughed in my face,” he reminded him. 

“Dammit Alex I don’t want you to go back to war!” Michael yelled.

Alex froze. To say that was unexpected would be an understatement. “Well,” he cleared his throat. “I didn’t want to be held personally responsible for everything my family’s ever done to you but I guess we don’t always get what we want.” Against his better judgement, Alex took a step closer to Michael. They were close enough now that Alex could feel Michael’s breath on his face. “You don’t know what you want, Michael. I suggest you figure it out before it’s too late.” 

Michael didn’t say anything, just stared at him until Alex stepped back and turned to leave. He got a full step away before Michael grabbed his arm, his grip tight on Alex’s elbow. Alex half turned to face him.

Before Michael could say anything a flash of movement behind his head caught Alex’s attention and he turned to see all of their friends craning their necks to watch them. Michael followed his gaze. When he caught sight of their audience he let go of Alex’s arm like it was burning him.

Alex huffed. “Good night, Guerin.”

Michael didn’t stop him this time.

\---

True to Isobel’s word, the going away party for Alex was small, just their little group plus Arturo and Mimi, and it was classy. There were small Air Force themed decorations that could easily be overlooked but were obvious if you looked for more than a second. She had promised nothing garish and she had delivered in spades. 

“So. Maryland, huh?” Max sat down next to him by the fire pit. “Conveniently on the other side of the country.”

Alex hummed. He would never admit to requesting a new posting, not to Max at least. No matter how much time they’d spent together recently. Never in a million years did Alex think he’d one day call Max Evans a friend but stranger things had happened and he supposed it was time. It was just odd to think that they only started to hang out once Max was neither his boyfriend’s brother nor his friend’s boyfriend. They had no real connection to each other which might have taken some of the pressure off. One night at the Saturn’s Rings drowning their heartache in alcohol later, that was it. 

“You know, you never actually said whether or not you were coming back when your service is up,” Max pointed out idly. He wasn’t looking at Alex, his attention caught on where Kyle and Rosa were attempting to fire up the grill. Maybe that’s why Alex answered.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“There’s more here for you than just Michael, you know.”

“I know,” he said, mostly because he knew Max expected him to. Truthfully, Alex wasn’t sure he had any real reason to come back. Sure he had friends but he had friends around the country. The real crux of the matter was that Michael was in Roswell and if something didn’t change, Alex couldn’t be here anymore. 

“Alex!” Rosa yelled, laughing. “Come help this idiot.”

“You were supposed to be helping!” Kyle yelled at her. 

“I don’t know why, we all know I’m hopeless around a grill,” Rosa laughed and ducked back into the house as Alex quickly got the grill going. It took two seconds.

Kyle stared at the grill, dumbfounded. “How did you do that?”

“It’s a grill, not rocket science,” Alex smirked. Kyle shoved his shoulder in response. Alex laughed and left him to it. Inside, Liz and Maria were making margaritas, why Alex wasn’t sure but he wasn’t going to stop them. Liz handed him a beer as he walked past and he smiled at her in thanks. 

“Alex!” Arturo called. Alex grinned and joined him and Mimi in the living room. The next few hours passed in much the same way, Alex moving from person to person, answering the call of his name. The only person who wasn’t there was Michael and Alex honestly wasn’t sure how he felt about that. 

At one point, he escaped outside with his beer to drink in the view. It was strange; he was more than likely heading straight for another desert but there was something about this one that just felt like home, felt like _his_.

The door slid open behind him but he couldn’t be bothered to turn and look, figuring it was probably Rosa. She seemed to be having a harder time dealing with this than anyone and was soaking up as much of his time and company as she could.

So he was surprised when Maria eased herself into the chair next to him. 

“Hey.” He blinked. Still Maria. 

“Hey,” she tried to smile. 

It was weird. They both knew it but there was no way around it, really. They hadn’t been alone together in a long time. Alex had never really put a conscious effort into avoiding her but he’d also never tried to speak with her or connect after everything that happened.

“I want to state for the record that I would be doing this even if you weren’t leaving in the morning,” Maria started off. Alex looked at her, mildly confused, but she was staring into the fire, the last rays of the sunset reflecting on her face. She looked beautiful. And sad.

“Okay?”

“I never apologized to you,” she said.

“You don’t need to.”

Her lips quirked upwards in an imitation of a smile. “Yes, I do. I hurt you. I know I did so now I’m apologizing.” She shifted in her seat to look at him without craning her neck. “Alex, I didn’t realize how much you two loved each other. I knew you had feelings for him but not the extent of them. And Michael promised me that his feelings were in the past.” She shook her head. “It’s not an excuse, I know it’s not. I just want to explain. I should have talked to you. I should have listened better when you tried to talk to me. I thought, I don’t even know what I thought, but I had some strange idea that maybe I was helping you. If your relationship with him was over and he didn’t have feelings for you anymore but you were feeling hopeful about a second chance, I thought seeing him move on would help you move on.” She stopped and looked back at the fire. “And I love him and he loves me and I really wanted to be with him. I’m just so sorry that meant hurting you.”

“Maria,” he sighed. “I appreciate the apology and I thank you for it but I’m not sure you did anything wrong. It’s not like we were together or had any hope of being together. You didn’t betray me. I don’t blame you for wanting to be happy or for wanting to be happy with Michael. I get it.” He laughed lightly. “Believe me, I get wanting to be happy with Michael. And yeah, it hurt but I wouldn’t have asked you to not be with him just to avoid hurting me. He doesn’t want to be with me and he was going to move on anyway. I’m glad he got to be with someone who made him happy. I’m glad he made you happy in return. And I’m sorry for the part I played in ruining that for you.”

“You didn’t do anything, Alex. It was just- some quirk of his biology that made him finally be honest with me.” She sighed and looked over at him. “He really loves you.”

“So I’ve heard,” Alex pressed the bottle to his lips. “Doesn’t seem to mean a damn thing though.” 

They sat in silence as the last few colors faded from the sky. “I don’t understand it,” Maria confessed quietly. “He said it didn’t matter. That love hadn’t stopped you from walking away, hadn’t stopped your family from hurting his, hadn’t stopped him from moving on with me. And I don’t understand. If you love each other, and you both _know_ that you love each other...what’s the problem? Why can’t you be together?”

Alex rubbed at his forehead and sighed. “It’s complicated, Maria.”

“I’m sure. And I’m not asking for an explanation. I just- I just don’t get it. And what’s more? I don’t think either of you get it. I think you both think it’s harder than it is.” She paused until Alex looked at her. “If you love each other and you want to be together, _be together_ . Decide you want to make it work and fucking work at it. I get that it’s complicated and messy and painful but Alex- you two could have something _amazing_ if you just tried.”

“You get that I’m leaving in the morning, right? And I don’t know if it’s escaped your attention but Michael didn’t even bother to show up to my going away party that’s being held at his damn house.” He shook his head. “It’s done, Maria. I appreciate this but he and I are in the past. And no matter how much we may love each other, that’s not going to change.” Alex pushed up out of his chair and headed for the door.

“Alex,” Maria called before he could get inside. He paused and waited for her to catch up. She surprised him by wrapping her arms around him. “Be safe, okay? I know you said it’s not active combat but still. Be safe and come home. And if you can’t come back here, you better be prepared for us to show up on your doorstep in Maryland, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

\---

“You okay?” Isobel handed her a margarita. Across from them, Maria watched as Alex made his goodbyes and escaped out the door. “That looked heavy.”

“It was,” Maria agreed. “But I think it went well? It’s hard when he’s leaving tomorrow.”

“I’m sure.” Isobel fell silent. She was a steady presence at Maria’s side and Maria was thankful for it. She had grown to appreciate Isobel’s friendship during her and Michael’s relationship and she’d mourned it when she thought it lost forever. Thank god, Isobel didn’t let that happen, she mused.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“You can not answer,” Maria warned. “I won’t be mad."

Isobel rolled her eyes. “Just ask, DeLuca.”

“When did you first start- I mean, what was it that made you think, well not think, but like when did you realize you had, um-”

“Are you trying to ask me when I fell for you?” Isobel asked in disbelief.

“...maybe?” Maria looked at her then quickly looked away, her cheeks heating up.

Isobel struggled to answer. “I never really thought about it. Honestly, I hadn’t even really realized it, not fully anyway, until the damn mark appeared.”

“Really?” Maria was surprised. She'd assumed the mark couldn’t be a surprise.

“Well it’s not like I let myself examine my feelings for my brother’s girlfriend all that closely,” Isobel defended. “But if you want an answer, I’d say things started changing not long after Noah died. When you realized I was pregnant and went with me to get the abortion, no question’s asked. I was in a really bad place with Max being gone and dealing with Noah and I just- I didn’t have the capacity to deal with that, too. But you were there and we weren’t even friends but it didn’t seem to matter. You just went with me and you held my hand and you took me home and made sure I was okay. You were exactly what I needed in a time when I had no idea what was going on or who I was, let alone what I needed from other people.” She paused. “I never really thanked you for that, did I?”

“That’s okay. I just did what I would want someone to do for me.”

“Yes, but you still hated me then.”

Maria shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Not for that.” She reached out and grabbed Isobel’s hand. “I’m glad I could be there for you.”

Isobel smiled and squeezed gently. “Me too.”

\---

“Question,” Max grabbed Kyle’s arm and dragged him into the kitchen as subtly as he could manage. Which is to say, not much.

“Answer?” Kyle looked over his shoulder like someone might be coming up behind him.

“In that scenario you proposed, what does that mean for you and me?”

Kyle raised an eyebrow. “I would hope it means that we could be friends. Because, no offense, but I have no desire to be in a relationship with you.”

“Oh thank god,” Max let out in a breath of relief. “I mean, no offense either, but you’re not exactly my type.”

“Likewise.”

“Kyle’s everybody’s type, what are you talking about?” Max jumped when Liz spoke up behind him.

“Uh nothing?” Max brushed a piece of hair out of his face. Behind him, Kyle made a poor attempt to hide his laughter. “Weren’t you outside with Rosa?”

Liz looked at him then at Kyle. “She took Dad home…what’s going on?”

Max looked back at Kyle for help. Kyle just raised an eyebrow in question and somehow Max knew he was asking if he’d made up his mind. That, more than anything, sold it for him. He turned back to Liz. “Kyle and I were thinking-”

“That’s dangerous,” Liz interrupted.

Kyle reached forward and poked her in the ribs, causing her to laugh. “Don’t be rude, Ortecho.”

“Okay, okay! Tell me what you’re thinking.” She glanced between them, trepidation clear on her face.

Max looked to Kyle. It was his idea first after all. Kyle rolled his eyes but nodded. “I love you. And Evans here loves you, obviously. And we know that you love both of us.”

Liz straightened her back. “Okay?”

“We don’t love each other,” Kyle gestured between them, “but we love you enough to get along anyway.”

“Um, I’m confused.” 

“Liz, we both want you to be happy and we will both respect whatever and whoever you choose to be with even if that’s one of us or neither of us...or both of us.” Max brushed the hair out of his face again.

“... _both_ of you?” She looked between them like she was waiting for someone to yell ‘gotcha’. “I don’t- what are you saying?”

“We’re saying, we love you and we’re not asking you to choose one of us. If you want to be with both of us, that’s okay with us.”

Liz’s mouth opened and closed. She appeared truly lost for speech for the first time in her life. “I- I need- I’m going home. And I will- I’ve gotta, I don’t know, process this. Bye.” And then she turned and fled. Max wouldn’t be surprised if she’d kicked literal dust up at them in her wake.

“Well. That went well,” Kyle sighed.

\---

Michael’s truck was in his driveway. He was at Max’s for _six hours_ and all he wanted was to get some sleep before he reported to base and Michael chose _now_ to show up. Alex banged his head on the steering wheel.

There was no sign of Michael outside so Alex turned off the car and trudged up the steps. The front door opened easily at his touch even though he was positive he’d locked it on his way out earlier. 

“Guerin?” He dropped his keys on the table and kicked off his left shoe. Normally, he’d already be removing the prosthetic by now but he wanted to be standing when he talked with Michael. Speaking of…”Guerin?”

“Where’s Buffy?” Alex turned to see Michael leaning against the doorframe to the hall. 

“Rosa’s going to keep an eye on her until I get to Andrews and then we’ll figure out how to get her out there.” He paused. As much as they had to talk about, Alex wasn’t sure he wanted to get into it right now. Besides, he’d meant what he said to Maria earlier: he and Michael were in the past and hashing out old hurts wasn’t going to change that. “You weren’t at the party.” It wasn’t quite an accusation but it also wasn’t particularly a question either. 

Michael shrugged. “Didn’t really feel up for company tonight.”

Alex stepped to the side and held an arm out in the direction of the door. “Well don’t let me ruin your night then.”

“Alex-”

“What?” Alex snapped. His arm fell back to his side. “What do you want, Guerin?” Michael didn’t say anything. “Do you even know? Have you figured it out yet?”

Michael was across the room and holding his hand before he could blink. Alex didn’t even think to stop him as he raised his hand and pushed it inside his shirt until his palm was flush against his name. 

He’d missed it last time, too caught up in the revelation that it was _his_ name, not Maria’s as he’d feared, but there was no denying it now. Michael’s eyelashes fluttered and his skin flushed a pretty red as he leaned into Alex’s touch. He even let out a little moan when Alex shifted his hand a little bit. 

Alex stared at him in wonder. Slowly, he moved his hand so just the tips of his fingertips grazed the mark, his index finger tracing the letters of his own name. Michael swayed forward until his forehead pressed against Alex’s. “So this is what you want?” Alex asked softly.

“I want you not to go to war,” Michael replied, his own voice hushed. “I want you not to move to the other side of the country. I want to not hurt every time I see you. I want to make you feel as good as you’re making me feel right now. I want this to be easier between us. I want a lot of things, Alex. I just don’t know if any of them are possible.” He lifted his head and looked into Alex’s eyes. “But most of all, I _don’t_ want to spend your last night here making each other sad and angry.”

Alex knew what he was saying, it was pretty hard to misinterpret, but he didn’t know what to do with it. As he thought it over, his fingers kept stroking the mark. Michael made delicious noises when he did and he couldn’t bring himself to stop. “We always did suck at the talking part,” Alex agreed quickly. It was a bad idea, he knew and Michael knew it, but Alex couldn’t stop himself if he tried. He reached out and dug a hand into Michael’s hair and dragged him forward until their lips met. Instantly, all of their troubles faded away. This they knew. This they were good at. Their problems would still be there later but for now, for now they let themselves communicate in the only way they really knew how.

In between the sighs and the moans and the cries of pleasure, there were the words “stay with me” and “come with me”, but they were lost to the moment. 

In the morning, before the sun rose in the sky, Alex would slip out of bed and pack up his few remaining possessions before driving out to the base and getting on a plane destined for places unknown. He didn’t know when he would be back on American soil, let alone back in Roswell. In the morning, Michael would wake up to an empty bed in an empty house with no idea when or if he’d ever see Alex again. 

But it wasn’t morning yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all Malex. In exchange the next chapter will be no Malex so just a head's up

The bed was cold when Michael woke up. The sun was high in the sky and Alex was long gone. All that was left in the whole cabin were the sheets on the bed and Michael’s phone on Alex’s pillow. The notification light was blinking and Michael already didn’t care about what anyone had to say to him right now. 

He unlocked it anyway when he saw the new email icon. He never got emails. 

It was from Alex.

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> We should’ve talked. That was always our problem, if we’re honest. Too much sex and not enough talking.
> 
> I’m glad we didn’t though. You were right, we’d just make each other sad and angry and that’s not how I wanted to spend my last night with you. Because that’s what it was. Regardless of what happens on my deployment, we both know this thing between us is in the past and it’s time I gave up and moved on like you’ve managed to do. 
> 
> Over the last two years I wrote you a lot of emails. Basically whenever I wanted to talk to you but couldn’t I’d write an email. I’m not sure why I’m doing this now but I just sent all of them to you. You can read them or delete them, it’s up to you, I guess. 
> 
> I love you. That hasn’t changed and it never will. 
> 
> Goodbye Michael.
> 
> A

Michael blinked away the sudden tears that sprung to his eyes. For all that he’d shoved Alex away over the last few years and flaunted the fact that he could move on, Alex telling him goodbye broke his heart. Michael wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to this point. It felt like one thing after another just piled on until there was no hope left. He wanted to fix it, even when he’d been with Maria part of him had wanted to fix it, he just didn’t know how. And now it was too late.

Rereading the email, he spotted the part about new emails and quickly exited out of that one. And there they were. Michael scrolled down to find the oldest one but it was impossible to tell. They didn’t seem to be in any particular order so he just clicked one and then another and then another.

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I saw you at the Pony today. You looked like shit. Have you been sleeping? Eating? Or are you just existing on alcohol and acetone?
> 
> I hope it’s making you feel better because it’s not helping anyone. Not your sister, who really needs you right now by the way, not me, not Maria, and certainly not Max. 
> 
> I wish you’d let me help you.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You drive me crazy sometimes you know that? First, you want nothing to do with me or Project Shepherd. And now it’s all you care about. Well, Project Shepherd at least. You still don’t seem to want anything to do with me.
> 
> Am I suddenly that repulsive to you? Because of my father? Fuck him. Seriously, Guerin, fuck. him. Don’t let him do this to us.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You could’ve at least done me the courtesy of telling me you were dating Maria instead of letting me find out by walking in on you two.
> 
> Fuck you Michael

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You need to pull yourself together. Your sister is drowning and she needs you and you don’t even notice. Liz and I should not be the ones keeping her afloat. She needs her brother, dammit. 
> 
> If only I could get you to stay in the same room as me for longer than 2 seconds
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I can’t decide if you’re oblivious or stupid or just plain cruel
> 
> I get it, okay. You moved on. You’re happy. I’m happy you’re happy but I really don’t need a front row seat to you sticking your tongue down someone else’s throat okay? Would it kill you to cool it on the pda?
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Max is back. You weren’t there.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I’m drunk. I shouldn’t bother with this it’s not like you’re going to read it anyway but I’m drunk and I’m lonely and it’s my birthday
> 
> Ten years apart and you never missed my birthday but now that I’m back you can’t be bothered? I want to be mad at you but I’m too sad to be mad
> 
> What did I do wrong Michael? Why are you doing this?
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You ever throw something anywhere near the vicinity of Maria again and I swear to god I will knock you on your ass
> 
> Don’t touch her. Don’t even get close. I don’t give a shit how drunk you are
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s the anniversary of Caulfield and I don’t want you to be alone but you won’t let me near you
> 
> I hope you told Maria what day it is or Isobel or someone. I hope you’re not alone.
> 
>   
>    
>    
> 
> 
> I’m sorry
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> I’m so sorry Michael
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You look happy
> 
> I miss you
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I never thought of us as having an anniversary, not really, but if we had one it would be today
> 
> I was ready, Michael. I was fucking _ready_ dammit. Why’d you have to pick then to finally be the one to walk away? I mean I know I deserved it after all the times I left you but your timing sucks.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I got my new posting. Also got new orders to deploy. I’m leaving Roswell and I don’t think I’m coming back this time
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You came by today. I’m pretty sure it's the first time you’ve been out here since you told me in no uncertain terms that we were done. You wanted more info on Project Shepherd, on the Alighting that Noah mentioned. You could barely look me in the eyes. It was like I was just a colleague and not even one you particularly liked that much and it hurt. 
> 
> I get that we’re never going to be together but why can’t we be friends? Is it really that impossible? We’re either fucking or not looking each other in the eye? No in between? That’s bullshit
> 
> Why do you get to decide everything? When do I get a say in this? What if I want more? Do you even care what I want?
> 
> Don’t answer that. It’s pretty fucking obvious you don’t.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I had lunch with Liz and Rosa and Maria today. It was awkward and painful. I’ve never hated you before but I think I hate you for fucking up my friendship with Maria. She was all I had for years and now it’s ruined because of you
> 
> Be happy with her. Make it worth it
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s not your fault. Me and Maria I mean. We fucked that up all on our own and neither one of us have really tried to fix it. You played a part, yeah, but don’t blame yourself for this too. You put too much on yourself already, you shouldn’t add this to it
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You make a beautiful couple
> 
> Better than we ever did. Not that we were ever a couple. Not like you and Maria
> 
> We wouldn’t have worked right? That’s why you left? Because we would’ve crashed and burned?
> 
>   
>    
>    
> 
> 
> Merry Christmas Michael
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> For someone who got angry every time I mentioned the Air Force you really didn’t seem to care that I re-upped. I don’t know what to make of that. 
> 
> I’m going to protect you Michael, I promise. My father will never get his hands on you or your family ever again.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Why can’t I get over you? I’ve tried fucking other guys, dating other guys, it doesn’t matter. 
> 
> I’ve never been able to get over you. I don’t know why I thought now would be any different.
> 
> All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted is you.
> 
> A
> 
> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Full disclosure - I’ve had a lot to drink. Liek a lot 
> 
> Did you know that your people essentially mate for life? Yep. Turn 30 and the true essence of your heart will reveal itself on your skin and name the person you love most. It will stay there forever. Cant be cut off or inked over. Cant change neither. Once its there its there
> 
> Your turning 30 in a few months
> 
> I wont survive seeing her name on you i wont
> 
> I filed papers for a transfer today. Project Shepherd is basically dead and by the time the transfer comes through it will be really dead and i cant stay here anymore im not strong enough. I need to be not here when her name comes
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Its my name. Fucking hell Michael its MY name?? 
> 
> What the fuck have the last two years been if its mY FUCKING NAME?
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> It hurt before when i thought you’d truly moved on but this? Oh this takes the cake
> 
> You love me. More than LITERALLY anything. And you still dont care enough to be with me
> 
> This is…
> 
> You should’ve left me in Caulfield and just saved yourself
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You left a birthday present in my car. Why?
> 
> Thank you
> 
> I love it
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Her name is Mara. 
> 
> She used to sing to the other prisoners when they were scared. She had such a beautiful voice. 
> 
> You won’t let me tell you about her but I think you should know. This was your mother, you should know who she was.
> 
> I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to find out the right way. I really am.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I saw you on the street today. You were outside the jewelry store.
> 
> I wish you both a long happy life together. You both deserve it.
> 
> A

There were more. So many more. Michael had to stop and pace himself or he’d start breaking things.

It took him weeks to get through all of them. Some made him cry, some made him smash every fragile thing in Max’s house (he owed him new windows), but some made him smile.

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I got a dog. Her name is Buffy. If anything happens to her I will kill everyone involved and then myself
> 
> Pics attached since I don’t know when I’ll see you.
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Wilson’s getting married, can you believe it? I would’ve bet good money he’d die a happy bachelor. It’ll be so good to see the squad again. He invited everyone, even O’Brien.
> 
> He’s making me wear a tux, though, no uniforms :(
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I think you’ve cursed me. I used to very happily not give a shit about football fuck you very much
> 
> (Eagles made the playoffs fuck yeah)
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> There’s this new prosthetic prototype the military wants to try out and somehow I landed on the shortlist of candidates to get it
> 
> It’s supposed to be so amazing you don’t even know. It’ll be waterproof! I can stand in the shower!
> 
> (its the little things sometimes)
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I’ve really fucking missed Rosa. I know you miss your brother and I’m sorry but I never really let myself process how much I missed her
> 
> I promise to do everything I can to bring Max back. I owe him one
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Rosa doesn’t like the jacket. She’s gotta go
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I’m going to LA Pride next week. I’d ask you to come with me but you seem a little busy passing out on the floor of the Pony every night
> 
> I’m taking Isobel instead
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I’ve got this new project at work that’s actually really interesting. I keep staying late to work on it and so Project Shepherd is falling behind but fuck Michael I love it
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> There was a crazy meteor shower last night. You would’ve loved it
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> The sunsets out here are unreal. I’ve been in a few deserts and seen a few coasts but nothing, NOTHING, beats this view
> 
> Its beautiful
> 
> A

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s cheating on the Wild Pony, I know, but if you go over to Dexter there’s a great little bar that does open mic night on Thursdays. 
> 
> It’s been a long time since I sang. I’ve missed it. You should come sometimes.
> 
> A

Michael missed out on a lot while he was with Maria. He never wanted to miss those moments again.

In the five weeks it took him to get through all of the emails, no one heard from Alex. He’d warned them he’d be out of touch but it was still jarring. Michael took to driving out to the cabin or bugging Rosa to let him play with Buffy just so he could feel close to Alex. 

A week after he finished Alex’s emails he started writing his own.

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> You’ve been gone six weeks. I miss you. I’m pretty sure I lost the right to say that but I don’t care. I do.
> 
> I read all of your emails
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I thought about responding to some of your emails individually but then I thought maybe just one would do it.
> 
> I’m sorry. I was a colossal jackass and you didn’t deserve any of it. I never should have blamed you for what your father did. You aren’t him, Alex.
> 
> There are only two people in my life that I trust to always be there: Isobel and you. Even when you walked away you always came back and I got used to that, I guess. When everything was spiraling out of control I needed someone to be angry at and I needed it to be someone who wouldn’t leave. Isobel was already going through hell so I picked you. I pushed you away as hard as I could and you stayed. You re-upped to protect me. You stayed in Roswell because you knew I needed you even though I refused to admit it. I put you through hell and you never said a word. Thank you. I should’ve said it a long time ago and I’m sorry I didn’t.
> 
> I’m sorry I finally pushed hard enough that you had to leave. Roswell’s your home and these people are your family. When you get back from your deployment you should come home and see them. I can leave if it’ll make it easier for you but you shouldn’t leave them just because I’m an ass.
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I think Liz is actually dating both Kyle and Max. I’m also pretty sure Max and Kyle are not dating each other. Sometimes though...how sure are you that Kyle is straight?
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I can’t decide if it’s too weird or not weird enough watching my sister and my ex girlfriend try to date. 
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> You said you didn’t love me. Why did you say that if you did? 
> 
> I don’t know that I would have done anything different but I’d like to think I’d have been more considerate about Maria had I known. I thought you were over me. You said you were.
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s been three years since Caulfield and I’m alone. One of your emails mentioned that you didn’t want me to be alone but I am. I always am. No one understands. No one can possibly understand.
> 
> Kyle gave me a bottle of whiskey this morning. I’m trying to drink less but now that I’ve got a doctor’s seal of approval, I might just need to enjoy it.
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I left my mom to die for you. I don’t think I would’ve left for anyone else.
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I miss you. I think I’ve been missing you for years but you were right there so I didn’t realize it
> 
> Be safe. Come home
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I’m a little obsessed with my mark ngl
> 
> It’s in my own handwriting but I wish it was yours. So it would actually be a piece of you with me
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s crazy. When you were here all I could think about when I saw you was your dad and your brothers and Caulfield. I know it’s not fair and it’s not right but I can’t control it
> 
> But now you’re not here. And I look around the cabin and all I see is you making breakfast or burning the popcorn that one night we tried to watch a movie and ended up making out instead. I can’t sleep at the Airstream without thinking of you. Did I ever tell you that you’re the only person I ever brought home? Every other person I ever hooked up I either went to their place or found somewhere else. But not you. You came home with me. 
> 
> Liz wanted a group outing to the drive in. But I said no. I can’t go there anymore. 
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> My eyes are burning. Too much naked sister 
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> First I see my sister having sex and now my brother’s asking me for gay sex tips
> 
> I can’t
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> When we broke up Maria accused me of being with her because I loved her less, because then she couldn’t hurt me. I thought she was crazy but now I think she had a point. I literally just walked in on her in bed with someone else (I’ve completely blocked out the memory of who it was) and it didn’t hurt. I’m just...happy for her. She smiles more these days than she has in a while
> 
> It's nothing like when I saw you on a date that one time and had the sudden urge to beat the guy into a bloody mess with my bare hands. It's a nice change of pace
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s been four months since anyone’s heard from you. I hope you’re okay and just not allowed to contact anyone.
> 
> Please be okay Alex. I don’t know what I’ll do if you’re not
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Some idiot decided to put in a record store on Main St. Who even buys records anymore?
> 
> It has open mic night almost every night though. You’d love it
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I seem to have moved into your cabin. Oops
> 
> The bed doesn't smell like you anymore :(
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re not here and I don’t even know if you’d want to see me if you were but let me just say this:
> 
>   1. You’re an asshole and I love it
>   2. You care so much about people, about your family (the real one not the jackasses named Manes), and you give so much of yourself for other people I’m constantly in awe of you
>   3. You named your dog after a vampire slayer; what a dork (next one should be Faith)
>   4. You are the strongest person I know. I put you through hell and you’re still standing and you somehow still love me. I don’t understand but I can’t complain
>   5. I miss watching movies with you even if your constant commentary can be annoying as hell
>   6. I can’t eat omelets at restaurants anymore, you’ve ruined me for life
>   7. Your voice is breathtaking; you should never stop singing
>   8. I love you
> 

> 
> Happy Valentine’s Day Alex
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Please just tell me when you’re home so I know you’re safe
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Rosa has a boyfriend. It’s weird. We can’t talk around him. Too many secrets.
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I broke the ship. Most of its still in the bunker but I scattered some pieces around town. The Airstream, Isobel’s, Max’s, the Crashdown, the Pony, other places too
> 
> The biggest piece is right here at the cabin. I needed it to be with you
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Jenna’s back
> 
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Happy Birthday Alex
> 
> I’m sorry I missed one. I promise not to miss any ever again.
> 
> They probably don't have any good cake where you’re at so I’ll just have to take you out for some when you get home
> 
>   
> M

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I’ve co-opted Buffy from Rosa. She’s not getting her back
> 
> M

Over six months after Alex left, Michael received his first new email.

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Subject: YOUR EYES ONLY
> 
> You’re unbelievable. Asshole
> 
> 827 Willowbrook Cir #231
> 
> Marlow Heights, MD 20746
> 
> A
> 
> P.S. Don’t forget Buffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those in the MD area, yes I know Alex would probably not live in Marlow Heights but my name is Marlo and I couldn't resist okay?


	5. Chapter 5

Rosa was going to start charging by the pep talk. It was starting to get ridiculous.

“They’re crazy!” Liz yelled for the fourth time in eight minutes as she paced around the room. Rosa checked. “Do they really expect me to date both of them? At the same time? How would that even work?” Silence. “Rosa! Are you even listening to me?”

Rosa perked up. “I’m sorry did you actually want a response? Because you ignored me the last three times.”

Liz glared at her. “Tell me what to do,” she nearly whined.

“Come here,” Rosa patted the bed next to her. Liz didn’t move. “Elizabeth,” she said warningly. Liz huffed and fell back onto the bed, bouncing slightly. Rosa popped up on an elbow so she could hover over her little sister. “Have you considered, I don’t know, talking to them? Instead of running away?”

“I didn’t run away!” Liz denied immediately. “I made a tactical retreat to process just what the fuck they were thinking.”

“Uhuh,” Rosa hummed mockingly. “I repeat, have you considered talking to them? Actually asking them what they meant?”

“It was pretty clear what they meant.”

“I agree but you seem to be having difficulties grasping the concept.” A pillow smacked her in the face a moment later. “I really need to stop having these conversations around projectiles,” she mused before flopping onto her back.

“How do you even have a relationship with two people at once?” Liz asked quietly. “It’s not like they want to be in a relationship together so it would be me dating two people but those two people not dating each other? That feels like cheating.”

“It’s not cheating if they’re okay with it,” Rosa pointed out. “It’s only cheating if you’re going behind their backs and lying about it. This isn’t that. And since they’re the ones who suggested it, I’m assuming they’ve decided it was okay with them.” She paused. “Would it be easier for you if they did want to date each other?” She looked over at her sister.

“Yes? No? I don’t know. I know people do this all of the time, I mean I’ve heard about open relationships and poly relationships and people with multiple partners, I’ve just never thought that would be for me?” Liz groaned and covered her face with her hands. “What do I _do_ , Rosa?”

Rosa sighed and pushed herself off of the bed. Turning around, she grabbed Liz’s hand and yanked her to her feet. “First of all, we’re going to make some churro pancakes.” She didn’t let go of Liz’s hand all the way into the kitchen. “Second, you’re going to stop acting like it’s the end of the world that the two guys who you love both want to be with you and are willing to put up with each other to make that work. Third, we’re going to stop talking about it and let you process. It’s been two days and I know you. Your brain is overthinking every possibility and every way it could possibly go wrong and you just need to chill out, okay?” She gently shoved Liz in the direction of the pantry. “Now get to work.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Liz laughed. Working silently, they pulled out all the ingredients they needed and started mixing them together. It was easy. Old habits borne of having done this so many times growing up.

“Oh no,” their dad stopped in the doorway. They both paused and looked up at him. “Who needs some fatherly advice?” 

Rosa looked at Liz and then back at their dad. “What?”

“You’re making churro pancakes. Together,” he waved at the slight mess they’d made. “One of you has a problem.” He crossed his arms and waited patiently with a smile.

“We can make pancakes together without there being a problem!” Liz huffed.

Rosa rolled her eyes. “Liz has boy problems.”

“Rosa!”

“Ah,” Arturo sighed. “There it is. Kyle Valenti or Max Evans, huh? How do you choose?”

Rosa snorted. “She doesn’t have to. Ow!” Liz smacked her upside the head. “You don’t!”

“What?” Arturo looked between them. Liz didn’t say anything so Rosa stepped forward to fill him in.

“...” Liz clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Kyle and Max suggested that I could date both of them,” Liz explained quickly. “I don’t know how I feel about it or what I’m going to do yet.”

Arturo looked confused but he nodded. “Well. Do whatever makes you happy, yeah?”

Liz’s smile was a thing of beauty, if Rosa said so herself. “Thanks Papi.” She crossed the room to give him a hug. “Once I figure out what that is I’ll let you know, okay? Promise.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be here when you need me,” he promised. “But you might want to get those pancakes before they ruin the pan.”

Liz and Rosa whirled on the stove where the first pancake was slowly turning into charcoal. “Shit!” 

\---

Maria froze. 

Isobel noticed right away, because of course she did. “Maria? What’s wrong?” She paused the movie.

“Um, nothing!” Maria shook her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

Isobel arched an eyebrow but she couldn’t wipe the concerned look off of her face. “Are you sure?” She clearly knew Maria was lying. 

“Yeah. Just- just tired all of a sudden.” She’d never felt more awake.

Isobel looked at the TV which showed that they were only 20 minutes into the movie. “Do you want to finish the movie or watch it some other time?”

Maria felt bad because she knew Isobel had been looking forward to this, the smile on her face when Maria walked in earlier was evidence enough, but she suddenly couldn’t be here. “Actually, yeah, let’s do a rain check?” She stood up and started gathering her stuff. “It’s just been a long day, a long week really, and I just need a bubble bath and to pass out.”

“Of course,” Isobel agreed, standing up with her. Her arms wrapped around her waist self consciously and Maria felt a pang of guilt. But then she saw it again and the urge to run became very real once more.

“I’ll text you the next time I’m off,” she promised over her shoulder as she ran out the door. Isobel called goodbye but Maria hardly heard it. All she could think about was the sight of her name on Isobel’s chest.

It was red.

\---

Liz took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She couldn’t remember the last time she had knocked but she was feeling off kilter enough that she felt the need.

“Liz?” Kyle frowned when he opened the door. “You knocked?”

“Yeah,” she frowned. “Can I come in?”

He stepped back immediately. “You don’t need to ask.”

“I know,” Liz didn’t touch him as she walked in. “I’m just- I’m feeling out of sorts, okay?”

“What’s wrong? Is Arturo okay? Rosa?” Kyle ushered her onto the couch, his face creased with worry.

“Yeah, yeah, they’re fine. It’s more about, um, what we- well, what you and Max talked about? At Alex’s party?”

Kyle leaned back in surprise. “I thought we weren’t talking about that?”

“We weren’t,” Liz agreed. “I needed time to process.”

“A month?” 

“It’s only been like three weeks,” she defended.

He smiled. “Okay. Three weeks. So what did you want to talk about?”

“Am I not enough?” It came out in a rush like she couldn’t it back anymore. 

“Woah, what?”

“Or is it that I’m too much and you feel the need to share the load or-”

Kyle grabbed her hands from where they were waving in the air between them. “I’m not sure where this is coming from but I promise you you are perfect. You are more than enough and you could never be too much for me. I love you.”

“Then why do you want to- to _share_ me?” Liz didn’t understand.

“I want you to be happy,” he smiled sadly. “And you love Max.”

“I love you!” She cried.

“I know,” he assured her. “And I love you too but I also know how much you love Max and I don’t want to stop you from being with him. But I also don’t want to let you go, either. So I talked to Max and we agreed that we would be willing to try it out. I have no interest in dating him but I think we could be good friends and I think you could be really happy.”

“And what happens if I’m not? What happens if we try this and it all blows up in our faces, what then?”

“Then we’ll figure it out from there. There’s no manual on how to do this Liz, none of us have tried it before so we’ll figure it out as we go. And if it turns out that it doesn’t work for us, well,” he shrugged. “I want you to be happy, no matter what that means. If it means being with me, then I will be over the moon and if it means being with Max then I will be as supportive as I can be. But I don’t want you to stay with me because you feel obligated to because we were together while Max was dead. I don’t want you to regret not giving it another shot with him. I don’t want you to resent me for that.”

Liz slid onto his lap and cupped his face. “I could never resent you, Kyle. You’re not holding me back from something more, you _are_ something more. I saw it in you when we were in high school and you have exceeded my wildest expectations and I couldn’t be more proud of you or happier to be with you. I _love_ you,” she leaned down to kiss him. “I don’t want to try this out just for it to ruin us.”

Kyle wrapped his arms around her and pressed their foreheads together. “I don’t want it to ruin us either but I think it could be really good for us. And besides, it can’t ruin us if we don’t let it, right?”

“No,” Liz smiled, shaking her head very slightly. “It can’t. We won’t let it.”

Kyle kissed her and she lost a few minutes in his lips. “So you want to try this?” He asked when he pulled away.

“Only if you are absolutely sure,” Liz replied. “I don’t want you to have any doubts or reservations going into this. Do you know what you want out of this? Like, what is your relationship with Max going to be?

“We’re going to be friends, Liz. And we’re going to talk. I think communication is the key to this and as long as we keep talking to each other, we’ll be okay. As long as you don’t expect me to make out with him, we should be fine,” he teased.

She laughed. “You say that now. Famous last words, Valenti.” She kissed him lightly. “We need to talk to Max.”

“We do.” He nodded. “Can we do it later, though?”

There was a frantic knock at the door. Liz pulled back in surprise and almost fell off of Kyle’s lap. He gripped her waist tight and eased her onto the couch before getting up and hurrying over to the door. He checked the peep hole first before quickly pulling the door open.

“Maria?”

\---

“Maria?” Kyle gasped. She looked on edge. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Is Liz here?”

Liz came up behind him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” She shook her head. Kyle stepped back to usher her inside. “Nothing’s wrong, really. I’m just having a bit of an internal crisis? I think?”

“Do you want something to drink? Water?” Liz guided Maria onto the couch. “Kyle?” Kyle was already in the kitchen. 

“Something stronger?” Maria asked. Kyle grabbed a bottle of water and a beer. He wasn’t one for hard alcohol at home. If he wanted anything stronger than beer he just went to a bar.

“Here,” he handed them over before sitting in the chair across from her. Liz settled next to her. “Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”

She gulped down half the water. “I don’t know, honestly. What would you call when you realize you might actually have feelings for a woman and she just so happens to be the sister of your ex who you just broke up with and oh yeah you know rather definitively she’s completely in love with you?” Liz could only stare at her when she finished rambling but Kyle had to look away to hide his smile.

“This seems more like a Liz-thing,” he started to stand.

“Sit down,” Maria barked. “I need more opinions.” Kyle sat back down.

“Um, what do you need opinions on?” Liz asked slowly. 

Maria looked at her helplessly. “What do I do? My name’s in _red_! And I liked it!” Kyle had to think that through for a second before it hit him.

“Oh she’s falling more in love with you,” he realized out loud. Maria shrugged and nodded.

“Has she told you that?” Liz asked.

Maria shook her head. “The only time we’ve talked about it she said she just wanted to forget it, act like normal. Be friends. But that was a month ago.”

“Maybe you should talk to her again?” Kyle suggested. “See where she’s at now? Things have clearly changed.”

“Yeah, for her! I just got out of a year long relationship with someone I thought I might spend the rest of my life with and oh yeah he was her _brother_ .” Maria glared at him. “I am- I am not in a place where I can deal with this. I like Isobel, I do. I like being her friend and sure maybe I can see how I could have more than friendly feelings for her but I am _so_ not there yet.”

Kyle started to say something but quickly quieted at a look from Liz. “Maria,” she said softly. “We’ve never talked about it and if you don’t want to talk about it now, that’s okay we don’t have to, but have you ever been interested in a woman before? Is it complicated because she’s Michael’s sister or because she’s a woman?”

Maria swallowed hard. “Both?” She pulled her knees up under her. “I mean, I’ve always found women attractive and I’ve maybe had, I don’t know, a crush? on some before but- this would be so much more than that.” She grabbed at the back of her neck and leaned forward onto her knees. “You know what’s fucked up? I want to talk to Michael right now.”

Kyle looked at Liz with wide eyes. He wasn’t sure they’d spoken since their breakup. “Have you tried calling him?” He asked. Liz shook her head at him but he ignored it. “It would be awkward sure but you guys were friends first, right?”

Maria lifted her head enough to shoot him a look of disbelief. “There are limits to that friendship,” she replied. “And asking him for advice on how to deal with my sexuality crisis in relation to his sister while I’m figuring out if I can move on from him to her is about a mile past that limit.”

“Fair enough.”

“Okay, so you can’t talk to Michael,” Liz tried. “Pretend we’re him? What would you say to him?”

Maria shrugged. She floundered for a minute before grabbing the forgotten beer off the table and taking a hefty swallow. “I don’t even know, okay? It’s not like I plan out my conversations with him.” She sighed. “I don’t love her. I don’t even know if I have romantic feelings for her but I really liked seeing my name and I liked that it was in red.” She groaned. “What does that even _mean_?”

Liz scooted across the couch and pulled her into a hug, her hand rubbing Maria’s arm comfortingly. “It means you need to process.”

Maria snorted. “That’s you. We’re talking about me.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “You can process too. Take a step back and think about your relationship with her and what you want from it.”

“You don’t have to have all of the answers, Maria,” Kyle added quietly. “You don’t even need to know exactly what you want. Just figure out where _you_ are at and then talk to her about where she’s at.” He shrugged. “Figure out the rest together.”

“Ugh. You two sound so sensible.” Maria huffed. “This is why I need Michael. He’d tell me something completely insane and make me forget my problems. Force me out of my head for a while while it did all the processing for me.”

Liz hummed. “I think I’m going to start dating Max in addition to still dating Kyle.”

Maria sat up straight. “ _What_?”

\---

“I hate romance,” Isobel groaned. Max’s answering sigh could be heard clear across the room. “It’s bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” he walked back over and handed her a glass of wine. 

“No, it is,” she countered. “I’m pretty sure Maria saw my mark when we were having a movie night last week and she completely freaked out. She practically ran out of there and I haven’t heard from her since.” She sipped the wine. “And for what? Some societal pressure that just because you might have feelings for someone you have to be in a relationship with them? I don’t need a relationship, Max!”

“I know,” he sounded longsuffering. Isobel graciously ignored it.

“And besides, she was in love with Michael like a month ago! I’m not expecting anything from her, okay? And I hate that she assumes I am because of a stupid mark.” She took another sip. “It’s bullshit!”

Max sighed heavily. “Have you talked to her?”

“How would I do that, Max?” Isobel glared at him. “She won’t answer my calls or respond to my texts. I can take a hint okay?” She shook her head. “What’s so wrong with wanting to be her friend? Why am I expected to want more?”

“Because you’re in love with her,” Max reminded her gently. As if she needed to be reminded.

“I can be in love with her and still be happy just being her friend.”

“You could,” Max agreed. “But it’s okay to want more.”

Isobel scoffed. “Not when the thought of more literally sent her running.” 

The front door opened and Max’s face lit up. Isobel groaned and drained the last of her wine. “That’s my cue.”

“Max!” Liz called from down the hall. 

“In here!” Max called back. A moment later, Liz stood in the doorway all anxious energy, Kyle at her back. 

“Oh, hey Isobel. Is this a bad time?” Liz greeted, looking between them.

“Not at all,” Isobel scooped up her phone and her keys. “I’m leaving.”

“Izzy-” Max stood up.

“Bye!”

\---

The door slammed loudly in Isobel’s wake. “Everything okay?” Kyle asked, glancing over his shoulder at the door.

“Maria stuff,” Max explained. 

“Ah,” Kyle and Liz replied in unison. 

Max raised an eyebrow. “You too?”

Liz shrugged and took off her jacket. “Maria needed to talk to someone.”

“You think they’re going to figure it out?”

“Who knows?” Liz started wringing her hands and glancing between him and Kyle. Max could empathize. He had his own hands stuffed deep in his pockets to stop from playing with his hair. 

“So,” he started.

“So,” Liz replied.

They all stood awkwardly until Liz started laughing. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny. I just can’t help it.” Max and Kyle both smiled at her. “This shouldn’t be this complicated, right?”

“Well, I think it should be a little complicated,” Kyle moved further into the room. “We need to set some ground rules and make sure we’re all on the same page before we start anything.”

“Right, yeah, of course,” Liz agreed. She started to sit down.

Max looked around the living room and decided abruptly that it felt way too formal for this kind of conversation. He glanced at the dining room only to find the same problem. He looked out at the fire pit next. “Can we go outside?” He asked before Liz’s butt hit the seat. She froze and then slowly stood back up.

“Sure. Is something wrong?”

“No! No. I just- it feels too formal in here. Like it’s a business meeting or something.” Kyle looked around and nodded. 

“Want me to grab some beers?”

“Please!” Liz smiled. She turned and led Max outside while Kyle detoured through the kitchen. “Are you okay with this?” She asked once the door was shut. “I mean, really okay with this? I don’t want you to have any doubts or anything.”

Max took her hand and held it gently. “Liz I could never have any doubts about you. Not even about this. I love you. And I know Kyle loves you. We just want you to be happy. If this doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but I do want to try.”

She searched his eyes before nodding. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Kyle joined them. “We’re all on board.”

“Yeah,” Liz smiled breathlessly. She looked at the beers in Kyle’s hand. Two of them were the brand Max, and she, preferred. The other one was Kyle’s favorite that Max hated. But he had it in the fridge anyway. “I think we are.”

\---

“You cheating on the Pony, Evans?” Maria slid onto the stool next to her, a reserved smile on her face.

Isobel carefully set her glass on the bar. “Just wanted a drink. Didn’t think you wanted to see me and didn’t want to force my company on you.”

The smile dropped from her face. “You’re never forcing your company on me, Isobel. I like seeing you. I like spending time with you.”

“Yeah?” Isobel scoffed. “The way you ran out of my house really showed how much you like spending time with me.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Maria apologized. “I-” She stopped and looked around. “Can we talk? Not here, I mean?” 

Isobel looked around the Saturn’s Rings and nodded. “Fine.” She threw back the last of her wine and followed Maria out the door. “How’d you know I was here?”

Maria pointed at a dark corner. “Rosa likes screwing with the tourists.” Isobel followed her finger and sure enough there was Rosa Ortecho. She winked at Isobel when she caught her eye.

They made it to Maria’s car in the back of the parking lot without speaking. Isobel’s car was a few rows closer but she just followed Maria. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I miss my friend,” Maria replied quickly. “These last two weeks have sucked and I know it’s my fault. I’m sorry I ran out like that. I saw the mark-”

“I figured as much,” Isobel muttered.

“I saw the mark,” Maria repeated with a mild glare, “and I freaked out a little bit. It wasn’t- it wasn’t the reminder that it’s there because honestly I don’t need a reminder about that. It was- it’s _red_ , Isobel.” Isobel flinched. 

“I told you, it doesn’t matter.”

“But it does. And- and I like it.” Maria sounded almost bewildered by that. “I liked seeing it there and I liked that it’s now red and I just- I don’t know how to process that, okay? I’m not- I’m not _there_ yet, Isobel.”

“I’m not asking you to be!” Isobel cried, though she silently filed away the ‘yet’. “All I want is to be your friend, Maria, I’m not asking you for more.”

“I know that!” Maria yelled back and Isobel had no idea when they got to the point of yelling at each other. “But- but what if maybe I do? Not right now, I am so not in a good place for that right now, but in the future? Maybe?”

Isobel stared at her. “What exactly are you saying?”

“I’m saying I don’t know,” Maria’s voice was a lot more solid than it had been. She was clearly more sure of what she was saying now. “I’m saying, I could have feelings for you but I’m not in a good place to deal with that right now. I just got out of a major relationship and I’ve never been with a woman before and you’re Michael’s sister and there’s just a lot going on and I’m not going to figure it out overnight. I need time.”

“You can have all the time in the world,” Isobel promised. “I’m not-”

“I know,” Maria cut her off. “You’re not asking me for anything and I appreciate that. What I’m saying is I want to spend more time with you. And if I freak out again, I want you to come after me and talk to me about it because I don’t want to lose you. Even if I never want more, I will always want you in my life. So can we do that? Can we- I don’t know, spend time together and be friends knowing that there could be something more? Or is that too much pressure?”

Isobel smiled. She couldn’t help it. It wasn’t often that Maria DeLuca got flustered and yet here she was and it was because of her. “Yeah, Maria. We can do that.”

\---

“I fucking knew this would happen!” Rosa shot off the couch at her sister’s shout. Liz appeared a second later, the bang of the door closing a distant echo. Rosa shifted into big sister mode at the sight of her sister’s tears.

“What happened?” 

“It’s over.”

“What’s over?” She guided Liz to the couch and sat her down.

“We had sex. All three of us. We talked about it over and over and I made sure they were okay with it. Max even talked to Michael about gay sex tips because he wanted to be prepared,” Liz let out a slightly unhinged laugh, “and it went wrong.”

Rosa really didn’t need the details of her brother and sister’s sex life but she sucked it up. “I thought the guys didn’t want to do anything together?”

“They didn’t!” Liz cried. “We’ve been doing great for four months without them getting involved with each other but then Kyle said he felt like he was missing out on time with me and Max said basically the same thing and you know I wouldn’t turn down time with both of them so the last month or so we’ve been doing stuff together, all three of us. Just date night type things. But sex was still separate so we thought, what if we bridged that gap too? And I talked to them, Rosa, I swear I talked to them. They both said they were okay with it, that they wanted to do it. We agreed they wouldn’t have to touch each other if they didn’t want to but we would all be present and then- I don’t know! It was good.” She paused and moaned lightly. “It was so good, you don’t even know.” She ignored Rosa’s muttered ‘I don’t want to know’. “But in the morning they were both acting super weird and they just left. Now they won’t even talk to me!”

“When did this happen?”

“Three days ago. I’ve been waiting, trying to give them space but they won’t answer my calls and when I went to Max’s he made up some excuse with Michael and practically ran away from me. Kyle’s been picking up extra shifts at the hospital just so he doesn’t have to see me and I don’t know how it all fell apart so fast.” The tears were flowing freely now. “Goddamnit, I thought the worst that could happen if it went wrong would be that I lost one of them forever. I didn’t think I’d lose them both!”

Rosa curled up next to her and pulled her into her arms, Liz’s head tucked neatly under her chin. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t know what she could say, she just held her as she cried.

She wasn’t sure how long they sat there. After a while Liz’s cries subsided but she didn’t move away. Rosa hadn’t had many opportunities to be the big sister since she came back but it seemed like the occasion called for it and she wasn’t going to let Liz down. She didn’t plan to move from this spot until Liz was ready.

Of course that meant that she couldn’t answer the door when it rang. It was okay, though, since she heard it open a second later anyway. She listened to the footsteps come up the stairs and pause in the entryway behind them. After a beat, they rounded the couch to reveal Maria, her hair and makeup a mess and her face a picture of sorrow and guilt. She took one look at the sisters and dropped her things before sliding in front of Liz to hold her from the other side. 

Liz allowed it for a few minutes before she nudged Maria. “Why the long face?”

“I slept with Isobel.”

Liz and Rosa both pulled back to look at her in surprise. “What?” Rosa asked, shocked.

“I thought you weren’t ready for that?” Liz questioned.

“I wasn’t. It happened anyway.” Maria sniffed. “What’s your problem?”

“I had sex with Max and Kyle together and now neither one of them will talk to me or even spend five seconds around me.”

“Ain’t love grand?” Maria asked sarcastically, unshed tears evident in her voice. 

“We need churro pancakes,” Rosa decided. “And ice cream.”

“And wine?” Liz asked hopefully.

“Isobel loves wine,” Maria replied tonelessly.

“Tequila?” Liz tried.

“Tequila works.”

“Curro pancakes, ice cream, and tequila it is,” Rosa decided. She left them on the couch and got to work.

\---

“Did you listen to my advice at all?” Max groaned. It was far too early for Michael. “Because I suffered, mentally, to give you that advice and it was _not_ ‘this’,” he waved a hand at Max, “worthy. It was _gold_ , okay?” 

Max huffed and looked over at him. He was too busy playing with Buffy to actually look at Max. “Do you really want a detailed play by play of my sex life?”

“Absolutely not,” Michael shook his head definitively, a look of disgust on his face as he finally looked up at him. “But I also don’t want to deal with sad mopey Max so I might have to sit through a highly edited cliff note’s version to figure out where the hell you went wrong.”

“I didn’t-” Max groaned and stood up. He walked around to the back of the chair and braced his hands on it. “It didn’t go wrong.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “You had sex with your girlfriend and her boyfriend and now you won’t talk to her and you’re making up excuses to not see her and you’re saying it _didn’t_ go wrong?” He laughed. “We need to work on your definition of wrong, then.”

“I’m not gay!” He yelled suddenly.

Michael paused and eyed him with a level of consideration Max wasn’t used to from his brother. “No. You’re not,” he agreed slowly. “A blind man could tell you you’re very much interested in women.” He tilted his head. “Are you having a sexuality crisis? You remember that bisexuality exists, right? We talked about the outdated binary here, didn't we? There are more possibilities outside of just being straight or gay.” He paused, a smirk spreading across his lips. “If it didn’t go wrong, did it go right?”

Max turned around and walked into the house. He didn’t know Alex’s cabin that well but he rifled through the cabinets indiscriminately in search of coffee. The man practically mainlined it so he knew it was here somewhere.

“Max,” Michael called softly. Max stiffened but didn’t turn around. “It’s okay if it felt good.”

“I know that,” he snapped. 

“Do you?”

Max slammed a cabinet shut. “Dammit where’s the coffee?” A closet door opened up on his left and a K-cup flew out to bonk him on the head. He glared at Michael but snatched it from the air and put it in the machine. A few seconds later he held the steaming cup under his nose and inhaled deeply. The smell relaxed him almost, if not more than, actually drinking it. Without turning around, he started speaking. “It’s not that I think it’s wrong or bad or anything like that. I just never thought it would be something I would enjoy. I wanted to help Liz feel good, that was the point of it. But then he was right there and I couldn’t help but touch him and then _that_ felt good so I kept doing it and then- I don’t know. We’ve become friends but I know I don’t have any real feelings for him.”

“You don’t need feelings involved to have good sex,” Michael told quietly. He was much closer now than before.

“I know. And I’ve had meaningless sex before, I’ve had sex with friends I wasn’t in love with, but this was different. I think because of us being involved with Liz there’s more at stake and it- it can’t be casual. But also, I don’t know that I want to do it again? It felt good, sure, but if it’s going to mess with my head, well- it wasn’t that good.”

“You talked to Kyle?”

“No!” Max whirled around. He pointed a finger at Michael. “And you won’t either.”

Michael held up his hands. “Oh I’m so not getting involved in this, believe me.” He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. “But you should talk to him. Whether you’re dating him or not you’re kinda in a relationship with him because of Liz. You can’t just ignore him.”

Max scoffed. “Watch me.”

There was a squeal of tires as someone parked in the driveway. Max looked to Michael but he seemed just as surprised as him. “Expecting company?” He asked needlessly. Michael shook his head wordlessly.

A second later the door opened and Isobel walked in. She looked like crap. He quickly set down his coffee and they hurried into the living room to greet her.

“What happened?”

“Are you okay?”

Isobel looked at Michael. “Have we gotten to the point where I can talk to you about Maria?” She swallowed nervously and Michael nodded. “Good. Because we had sex and I think it was a mistake. She looked at me like- like I’d done something wrong. I don’t-” Michael pulled her into his arms before she could say anything else. Max rubbed a hand up and down her back as they listened to her cry, unable to say anything to help. “I don’t know where it went wrong! We’ve been going on dates and last night we were drinking and she kissed me and then it sort of snowballed from there. I thought we were on the same page!” She buried her face in Michael’s shirt. “She looked _horrified_ this morning. God, what did I do?”

Michael spoke to her in a low tone, softly enough that Max couldn’t quite make out the words and slowly, her tears dried up and she started to calm down. After a few minutes, Michael met Max’s eyes before nodding at the bathroom. Max ducked in and grabbed the nail polish remover. By the time he got back to the living room, Michael had gotten Isobel onto a couch. She had her knees tucked up under her chin and a blanket wrapped around her and she looked miserable. As soon as she saw him, though, she dropped the blanket and reached out for the bottle. They let her suck down a few large sips.

“Izzy-” Michael started.

She shook her head. “No. I need five minutes of not thinking about this right now, I need to think of something else so I stop picturing her face. Tell me what’s going on with you two. Max, you’re never here and certainly not this early.”

Max pulled a face. “It’s nothing big.”

Michael snorted. “He slept with Kyle and Liz and he liked it and he’s freaking out. He’s here avoiding both of them and he refuses to talk to them.” 

“Thanks, Michael,” Max glared at him.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help Isobel,” he smirked. 

“You slept with Kyle?” Isobel asked, shocked. She paused. “Was he any good?”

Max opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally- “yes.”

Michael and Isobel both crowed. “I knew it!” Michael cried.

“Oh I knew he’d be good. You can just tell,” Isobel laughed. It was a little pathetic but it was infinitely preferable to the tears of only moments ago.

Just then, Michael’s phone let out an obnoxious noise and he about dove across the room to grab it.

“Michael?” Max half stood up in case something was wrong. He needn’t have bothered though, if the smile on Michael’s face was any indication. He stared at his phone in disbelief before a bright grin slowly appeared.

“It’s from Alex.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the updated tags. This chapter references a sexual encounter between Isobel and Maria while Maria was under the influence of drugs but neither one of them realized it.

“Have you considered talking to them? Either of them?” Alex sighed.

“Oh gee, why didn’t I think of that?” Kyle snarked on the other end of the phone. “Yes, I’ve considered it but I have no idea what I would even say!”

“How about ‘I liked having sex with both of you let’s keep doing that’?”

Kyle groaned. “I can’t just  _ say _ that.”

Alex frowned. “And why not? Seems the simplest solution.”

“Mhmm and what exactly is your experience with effective communication in a relationship?”

“Utter shit,” Alex replied easily. “Which is why I am telling you to learn from my mistakes.”

“Alex,” Kyle said, suddenly serious. Alex straightened his back in response. “Am I seriously going to be the old cliche of a homophobic bully turns out to not be straight? Because I don’t want to be a cliche.”

Alex snorted as the tension left him. “Yeah well, suck it up Valenti. We don’t always get what we want.”

“Why can’t it be easy?” Kyle bemoaned.

“Because it’s worth fighting for,” Alex replied absently, his eyes caught on a taxi pulling up outside. A tall man in a loose flannel shirt and a cowboy hat stepped out with a beagle in tow. 

“Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“How long have you been home? I called you but I wasn’t really expecting an answer…”

Alex closed his eyes briefly. “Got home a week ago. Had to report straight to Andrews,” he lied. “It’s been really busy, I was going to let you know I was back once I got settled.”

“Were you?”

“Of course I was!” There was a knock at the door and Alex’s heart sped up. He was on his feet and halfway to the door before he knew it.

“Ok, fine, you were. It’s just- it’s really good to hear your voice, man,” Kyle told him sincerely. Alex stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He could hear Buffy’s barks already. “Send me your new address, okay? We can send you a welcome home package?”

Alex opened the door. “Yeah, is that package gonna be any of you showing up on my doorstep?” He met Michael’s eyes and his heart stopped for a second. Dammit, he looked  _ good _ . Buffy jumped up on his legs and Alex reached a hand down to pet her but he didn’t look away from Michael for a second.

“Maybe,” Kyle laughed in his ear.

“Well, then sorry, but you don’t get my address. I don’t really want any visitors.” Michael quirked an eyebrow. A slow grin made its way across his lips. “Look Kyle,” he cut off Kyle’s objections. “I have to go, okay? Go talk to Max and Liz.”

“Tell him to shut up and sleep with them again,” Michael whispered. 

Alex shook his head slowly. “Make sure you actually talk to them before ending up back in bed,” he said instead. Michael met his gaze and nodded once, understanding that that was for him as much as it was for Kyle. As he finished making his goodbyes, Alex stepped back to allow Michael and Buffy to enter. 

“Hey girl,” he cooed as soon as Kyle hung up. His phone ended up somewhere but he wasn’t entirely sure where. He’d care about it later. Buffy licked his face in greeting. “I missed you.”

When Buffy finally had enough kisses, she slipped out of his grasp to explore her new home. He’d left about half of her things in Roswell but the rest was already unpacked here. He watched her explore with a smile on his face. It was good she was here, made the tiny apartment feel like home.

“Hey,” Michael said softly. He reached down a hand to help Alex off the floor and he took it gratefully. Michael hauled him to his feet but didn’t move away so they ended up nearly chest to chest. His hand came up and traced his hairline from his forehead down around the tip of his ear. Alex could barely suppress the shudders that came with it. “You cut your hair,” Michael observed.

“It wasn’t regulation before,” Alex replied quietly. The air felt thick between them.

“Fuck,” Michael whispered. He used the hand already on Alex’s head to pull him into a hug, Alex’s face pressed into his neck as he buried his own face in Alex’s shirt. “You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Alex promised. There had been a few close calls, a few cuts and bruises, but he’d come home with the same number of injuries he’d shipped out with so he called it a win. Slowly, he started to pull away. “I got your emails.” He hadn’t been able to send any but he had received communication just fine while he was overseas. 

Michael tensed slightly and stepped back. Their hands fell away from each other slowly, fingers caressing every last bit they could touch. “I read all of yours,” he admitted. 

Alex looked away. He didn’t remember everything that he’d written but he definitely remembered that he hadn’t intended Michael to ever read them. Not really. “I don’t even know why I sent them to you,” he confessed.

“I’m glad you did.”

“Really?” Alex arched an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure I told you go fuck yourself a couple of times.”

“You did,” Michael agreed. “But you were right and I needed to hear it. Or read it, I guess. There were a lot of things I needed to hear.”

Alex looked away and that’s when he realized they were still standing in the entryway. “Come on,” he muttered. Michael grabbed his arm as he tried to get past him.

“I thought we were going to talk?” He looked scared, like Alex was going to walk away right now. 

“We are,” Alex promised, “but I’d rather we weren’t standing by the front door while we do it.” He nodded towards the living room. “The couch is more comfortable.”

Michael looked around them like he’d just realized where they were too. A pretty pink blush filled his cheeks. “Yeah okay.” He let Alex pass. “Coffee?” Michael headed straight for the kitchen. Alex watched in amazement as he found the coffee mugs, the k-cups, and the sugar without asking. 

“How did you-?” 

Michael looked up at him then down at the coffee materials. He shrugged. “It’s the same as at the cabin.”

“You really did move in, huh?”

Michael flushed. “I can move out if you want me to.”

“Did I say that?”

“No,” he looked up. “You didn’t.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Guerin,” Alex warned. He meant it more for their next conversation and from the look in Michael’s eyes, he understood that. 

Michael nodded. “I won’t. I promise.” He stirred in the sugar and grabbed the creamer from the fridge. Alex watched him add it and was still somehow surprised when Michael handed his coffee to him and it was perfect.

“Thank you.”

Michael waved him off and sat down. Buffy jumped up on his lap a moment later. He happily accepted her kisses until Alex sat down and she came over to curl up with him. Alex pet her with one hand while he sipped his coffee with the other. 

“So,” Michael started. “Where were we?”

“Uh I think you were saying I needed to tell you to fuck off?” Michael gave him a look and Alex gave him a smile. 

“I  _ think _ we were talking about the emails,” Michael said.

“Right. Those.” All of a sudden, Alex didn’t want to talk about this. He’d written the emails when he couldn’t talk to Michael and he’d sent them when he’d thought he’d never have to see Michael again. Talking about them was never in his game plan. “Here’s a thought: what if we didn’t talk about it?” 

Michael reared back in surprise. “What? You just said we need to talk.”

“Yeah and we do. But I don’t want to talk about the emails.”

“Alex-”

“The whole point of them was that they did the talking for us right? So we don’t have to talk about us talking to each other?” He rubbed his forehead. “We can-”

“Why’d you lie to me?” 

Alex looked up. “About what?”

“After we got Max back, you came out to the scrapyard to yell at me to get my shit together and I asked you-” He shook his head. “I asked you if that was how you treated someone you loved and you said ‘no’. That you treated the people you loved better than that.” He met Alex’s eyes and held it. “Why’d you say you didn’t love me?”

Alex held the gaze as long as possible before he had to look away. Buffy rolled over in his lap so he looked down at her and rubbed her belly. “I never said I didn’t love you.”

“Heavily implied, then.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was angry that day and you were drunk and being an asshole and I just- I yelled. And then it was out there and I couldn’t take it back but I didn’t think you’d remember it anyway.”

“I remembered.”

“I can see that.” Alex shook his head. “You said it yourself, though, it wouldn’t have changed anything. You still would have started a relationship with Maria. You still would’ve moved on.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about the emails?” Michael asked quietly.

“You started it,” Alex shot back wearily. 

“I know,” he nodded. “And you’re right, I probably still would’ve been with Maria. For better or worse she was what I needed then. I needed someone who couldn’t hurt me. I needed someone that I couldn’t hurt in return.”

“But you did hurt her.”

“Not like I hurt you. She’s okay. She’s figuring out this thing with Isobel now and she’s okay.” Michael picked up his forgotten coffee mug and started tracing the rim of it with a finger. “My whole life I’ve had either one night stands and you. I’ve never had a relationship, not really. I thought I wanted one with you but we were in such a bad place it was impossible.”

Alex’s heart leapt into his throat. “Thought?”

“With Maria, it was easy. She didn’t judge me for my inexperience and she didn’t expect much from me. Not like you do. She and I stayed in Roswell and she knew who I was, who I am, and she didn’t expect more than that. But you, you have this image in your head of who I am, expectations of who I should be, and you walk away when I don’t meet them. It was nice not to disappoint her.” He took a sip. “So no, I wouldn’t have changed it. But I would like to think I would’ve done it differently. You weren’t wrong when you accused me of too much PDA. I wanted you to see it, see us. I wanted to show you that I was okay without your love.”

Alex hadn’t gotten an answer to his last question but he pushed it aside for now. “You could never disappoint me, Michael. Yeah I expect more from you but that’s only because I know what you can do.”

Michael shot him a look. “Yeah and when I fall short, you get disappointed. Like with the copper wire.”

Alex shook his head. “I never gave a shit about the copper wire.”

Michael scoffed. “You ended things over it.”

“That’s not-” he stopped. “My dad said some things that night.”

“Yeah, I know, I saw him.”

“He- he said some things and all I could think about was the last time he caught us together. After that, all I wanted to do was get you far away from me so he wouldn’t have a reason to hurt you again.”

“Since when are you scared of anything, Alex?”

Alex snorted. “I’m scared of a lot of things, Michael. Losing you, whether it’s to Project Shepherd or Maria or someone else or fucking outer space! I’m scared of trusting the wrong person and other people paying the price. Hell, I’m scared of going back to war. And I am fucking terrified of my father,” he confessed, struggling to keep his voice even. “I know he hurt you and I know you’ll never be able to get over the fact that I’m his son but he’s your battle. And he’s my war. I will be fighting against him my whole life. I’ll win some and I’ll lose some. And even after he’s gone I’ll still be fighting him because he’s in here,” he tapped his head. “And that’s not going away. So yeah, I pushed you away because I was scared of what he could do to you. And I am sorry about that but- I did the best I could, okay? I know it wasn’t great but it was the best I could do then.”

Michael didn’t respond right away. He let the silence linger long enough that Alex was starting to regret ever opening his mouth. “I never should have said you were like him. You’re not. You’re nothing like him and you’re nothing like your brothers.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “I think the worst thing I ever said to you was that you were responsible for my mother’s death.” Alex flinched at the reminder. He stared down at Buffy, unwilling to look at Michael. “I was drunk when I said it and I wanted to hurt you. And when I saw that it did, I said it again the next time I wanted to hurt someone.” He finished off his coffee quietly. “You always came back, Alex. And I took it for granted and I used you as a punching bag to let out everything I packed inside and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it. You deserve a hell of a lot better, really. I’m sorry I never treated you like you deserved.”

“You did,” Alex countered softly. He swirled the last of his coffee around. “Before.”

_ Before _ . Before Maria. Before Max and Noah. Before Caulfield. Before Alex came back to Roswell.

“You were amazing,” he added. “For ten years the only time I could let my guard down, let myself truly relax, was when I was with you. You made me feel safe. And loved.”

“Why’d you always leave?”

“Why didn’t you ever come with me?” Because he’d asked, multiple times. Especially after DADT was repealed and he didn’t have to hide.

“I couldn’t leave Roswell, couldn’t leave Max and Isobel.”

“I couldn’t stay there, not with my father in town.”

They fell silent, pondering the weight of those answers. 

“Max and Isobel aren’t going to leave,” Alex acknowledged.

“Neither is your father,” try as they might to force him out. He may have been discharged from the military but he refused to leave Roswell. 

“No,” Alex agreed.

“So where does that leave us?” Michael’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I don’t know, Michael. But does it even matter? Is it really geography that’s the problem? Or literally everything else?”

“I don’t know about  _ literally _ everything else,” Michael tried.

“You say now that I’m not my family but you spent two years blaming me for everything they did. Did that suddenly change overnight? Am I supposed to believe you’re magically over it all of a sudden? You think I have unrealistic expectations for you, for us, and you’re afraid you’re only ever going to fall short. Is that going to change or will you be afraid of disappointing me no matter how often I tell you that’s not possible? Will I ever be able to get over you and Maria?” Alex sighed. “There’s so much, Michael.”

Michael clenched his jaw. “Why’d you send me your address?”

And there it was. The question Alex had been asking himself ever since he sent that email. Gently, he moved Buffy onto the couch next to him and stood up. Wordlessly, he collected their mugs and took them to the kitchen.

“Alex?” Michael leaned on the counter, having followed him over because god forbid he let Alex have the modicum of space he was trying for. “Why am I here?”

Alex placed the second mug in the dishwasher and closed it. “You came,” he accused.

“You asked me to,” Michael shot back.

“Why’d you send me those emails?” Alex let out a small, humorless laugh. “Why didn’t you just let it go? Let me go? Two years you spent pushing me away and when I finally go, when I  _ finally _ say goodbye, you reach back out.  _ Why _ ?”

Michael leaned down and covered his head briefly before looking Alex straight in the eye. “Because you said goodbye. Because I had a  _ taste _ of life without you and it was miserable and I hated it. Even when I was pushing you away you were always there and I counted on that more than I realized to keep myself sane. I sent you those emails because I couldn’t let that goodbye be it between us.” He laughed and the sun through the window caught his hair just right and suddenly Alex was three years in the past standing outside the Airstream hearing Michael tell him, “I never look away, Alex. Not really. I did, for a while, and it was a mistake.” Reality crashed back into him and Michael was two steps closer. “Let me fix it.”

God help him but Alex  _ wanted _ . He wanted to say yes, he wanted to grab Michael and pull him close, he wanted to fix this, to fix them. “How?” He asked instead. “I live here now and you live in Roswell.”

“How long?” Michael asked. Alex tilted his head in question. “How long are you here for? You requested this transfer can you request to go back?”

“I can,” Alex admitted. Michael let out a relieved sigh. “But I’m not going to.”

“Alex-”

“I can’t be in Roswell anymore Michael. Between my dad and us, there’s just been too much that’s happened there and I can’t be there. Maybe one day down the road I can think about going back but it’s not going to be for a while.” He smiled sadly. “And you’re never going to leave.”

“What if I did?” Michael was another step closer. “What if I moved?”

“And leave Isobel and Max behind? And Liz and Rosa and Maria?” Alex shook his head. “We both know that’s not going to happen.”

“Alex-” There was barely a step between them now.

“Michael, we have so many issues to work through if we ever want this to be real and we can’t do that from opposite sides of the country.”

“So what? We do nothing? We just- let this go? Let each other go?” 

“Yeah,” Alex looked down at his hands only for Michael to cup his chin and lift his head back up.

“No.” Michael denied. “You sent me your address, you wanted me to come here, Alex.” He shook his head. “And it wasn’t just to say we’re done. You could’ve done that in an email.”

“I wanted to see you,” Alex finally admitted. “I read your emails and I fucking missed you and I just wanted to see y-” Michael kissed him. Alex would like to say that he was surprised or startled or caught off guard but in truth he’d been waiting for it since he saw Michael step out of the taxi. Been aching for it really. So he didn’t waste even a breath before kissing him back. His hands were on Michael immediately, touching as much of him as he could while Michael’s held him in place. 

“This means something, Alex,” Michael broke away to say. His hand cupped Alex’s where it rested over Michael’s heart. Over his mark. “It means everything.” This time, Alex initiated the kiss. 

He pulled back far enough to rest his forehead against Michael’s. “It’s not enough, though. Isn’t that what you told Maria?” Michael leaned back. “There is so much shit between us Michael and as much as we love each other, on its own it's not enough.”

\---

Kyle pushed open the doors of the Sheriff’s station, careful not to spill any of the coffees in his hand. Once inside he had to dodge two deputies carrying large stacks of files and a teenage delinquent being scared straight en route to his mom’s office.

“Morning,” he greeted brightly. 

“Good morning, Kyle,” she greeted suspiciously. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He tried to act as offended as possible. “I can’t come bring my mother coffee in the morning?”

She hummed. “Of course you can. But you never do. Spill.” She pointed to the coffee tray in his hand. “Who’s the other coffee for? Deputy Evans perhaps?”

Kyle felt his cheeks flush and he started sputtering. “Wha- Why would you thi- Why would I-”

“Ah,” she smiled, pleased with herself. “How’s that whole arrangement with Liz working out?”

“...do you really want to know?”

“If it’s about my son’s sex life, no. Your love life? Yes I would like to know how you’re doing.”

“Well,” he started off. “Things have...progressed. Unexpectedly so, I mean.”

“In a good way?”

“Yes?” He winced. “I don’t know yet. We’re all sort of not talking to each other.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” She leaned forward and cradled the coffee in between her hands. “Communication is key to making any relationship work.”

“I know. I just- need to figure out what I’m going to say.” 

“You know I’m here if you need me,” she told him.

“I know, Mom. Thank you. But I have someone else in mind for the job.” 

She laughed. “Okay. I’ll let you go. But don’t forget about dinner this Sunday! Your abuela has been talking about it all week and she wants to see Liz again and meet Max.”

Kyle paused halfway to the door. “ _ And _ Max? Did you tell her…?”

“We’ll ease her into it. Now go. And don’t be late!”

Kyle really wanted to ask what his mom meant by that but he knew an exit when it was shoved in his face. He eased the door closed behind him and headed back for the bullpen just in time to see Max walk in. Skidding to a stop, Kyle ducked into the little coffee nook and prayed Max already had his morning cup. When a minute went by with no Max, he craned his neck around the corner to see what was going on.

Max was talking to another deputy, Morales, if Kyle remembered correctly. He was smiling and laughing and he looked good. Very good. 

Kyle thumped his head on the wall. “Bad thoughts,” he whispered.

“That for me?” Came the voice of an angel. Kyle whirled around to see Jenna behind him, her hand outstretched for her coffee. He handed it over gladly. “So. What do you want?”

“I have a Max Evans problem,” he blurted out. “You are uniquely qualified to help me. So...help?”

Jenna froze with the coffee halfway to her lips and looked between him and Max. “Really? You too?” She laughed. “It’s because he’s tall isn’t it?”

Kyle closed his eyes. “I’m never living this down, am I?”

“Not likely,” she answered. With another glance behind him she grabbed his arm and ushered him out the back door. “I’ve got a few minutes. Talk.”

“So I’ve been dating Liz,” he began.

“Right and so has Max,” Jenna finished. “Get to the part where you have the hots for my partner.”

“We might’ve had sex all three of us and it was really good and I want to do it again except I’m pretty sure neither one of us has ever thought of ourselves as anything other than completely heterosexual?” He spilled it all out in a rush. “Oh and none of us are currently talking to each other.”

Jenna blinked and took another sip of her coffee. “Right. So what’s the problem?”

He made a face. “Uh, how do I talk to Max about doing it again?”

“Well, you walk up to him and you open your mouth and you let words come out,” she replied in a deadpan. When he just stared at her, she sighed and continued. “You like him. You think sex with him is fun. You want to do it again. What about this is complicated?”

“I don’t actually like him that much? I mean we’re friends but that’s it? I don’t want to start dating him too.”

“Do you think he wants to start dating you?”

“Probably not.”

“Then I fail to see the problem. Thanks for the coffee.”

Kyle stared after her in shock. Why did everyone keep making it sound like it was easy?

“Thanks for nothing!” He called out as she walked inside. Just as the door closed he saw her lift the coffee cup in acknowledgement. 

\---

“Isobel Evans,” Rosa sing-songed. She watched with delight as Isobel tensed up before her. “Fancy running into you here.”

She looked back over her shoulder. “In my own office?”

Rosa looked around. “Wow. It  _ is _ , isn’t it?” She flopped down into the chair opposite Isobel’s desk.

“Get up,” Isobel hissed. “I have a meeting right now and I don’t want you in here when the client walks in.”

“No worries. I’m your meeting.” She grinned as Isobel froze again. 

“Why?”

“Maria.”

And just like that the exasperation was gone and in its place was the Ice Queen Rosa remembered fondly. “No. I am not talking about this with you or with anyone.”

“Just tell me what happened,” Rosa urged. “Maria’s a mess.”

“Yeah, well, so am I. And what did I just say about not talking with you?”

“Isobel,” Rosa said quietly, all attitude gone. “What happened?”

Isobel glared at her for a beat before easing into her chair slowly. She didn’t quite relax but she did lose the steely-eyed glare. “I don’t know, okay? I thought we were on the same page right up until she woke up. The way she looked at me, Rosa,” she shook her head. “It was like I-” she swallowed. “ _ She _ kissed  _ me  _ that night. She kissed me and then we kissed some more and things just kept progressing,” she flailed an arm out. “I thought we were on the same page,” she repeated. She dropped her face into her hands. 

“And then what?”

“And then nothing. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.”

Rosa furrowed her brow. “It’s been a week. You two talk every day.”

“We did,” Isobel agreed. “Until she looked at me like I took advantage of her, like I-” she still couldn’t say it. Very quietly, she added, “did I?” 

“I don’t know,” Rosa answered honestly. She stood up. “I’ll talk to her, okay? See if she’s willing to talk to you because you two need to work this out somehow.”

“Rosa?” Isobel asked when she got her hand on the door. “Is she okay?”

“She’ll be just fine,” Rosa promised.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“No. It’s not.” She closed the door quietly behind her.

\---

“Hey Maria,” Max called out as soon as he stepped through the door. He didn’t want to startle her.

“Max,” Maria greeted when she saw him. “What brings you by during daylight hours? We’re not open yet.”

“I know. Sheriff Valenti just wanted me to come by and ask if you would be open to hosting a fundraiser for the department.”

Maria looked at him. “A fundraiser? For the Sheriff’s Department?  _ Here _ ?”

Max shrugged. “What can I say, you’re a better draw than the coffee shop or the new record store.”

“Thank you?” She shook her head. “When is this?”

“Whenever you can, I think? Sometime in the next month, though.”

Maria turned around and looked at the calendar pinned to the wall. “I’ll have to check the other calendar and my employee work schedule but I might be able to work something out.”

“Yeah?” She nodded. “Great. I’ll let the Sheriff know and she can call you to work out the details.”

“Okay. Thanks for stopping by.” She gave him a small smile and turned back to her work.

“Maria?” Max couldn’t help himself. “Are you okay?”

Her back stiffened and she turned around slowly. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” There was an odd note in her voice that Max couldn’t decipher.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I just know Isobel’s been really upset for the last week and you and her aren’t talking and-”

Maria scoffed. “ _ Isobel’s _ upset?”

“Yes,” Max stated firmly. “She is. And I’m worried about her. And you too. I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t need to but I just wanted to check in with you.”

“I’m fine, Max,” she assured him. “Thanks for checking in.”

He lingered a moment longer but it was obvious she wasn’t going to say anything else so he left.

\---

Isobel stopped the car in the middle of the street, uncaring of the other cars. Horns started blaring but she ignored them in favor of rolling her window down. “Michael?!” She shouted. Across the street, Michael turned around to look at her before continuing to the Crashdown. Isobel rolled the window back up and quickly made her way around the block until she found a parking spot. 

Michael was just nearing the entrance when she got out. “Michael!” He stopped and waited for her to cross the street. “What are you doing here? I thought you went to see Alex?”

“I did,” he nodded. “And now I’m back.”

She shook her head, bewildered. “And where’s Alex?”

“At Andrews. Where he’s supposed to be.” He turned and slipped inside behind another customer. Isobel hurried after him. 

“Hey,” she grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side. “Talk to me. I thought your flight back wasn’t for another few days?”

“I got a new flight.” He pasted a fake grin on his face but his eyes looked so sad, Isobel didn’t need to reach into his mind to know what had happened.

“I thought you were working it out,” she commented sadly. She’d driven him to the airport a few days earlier and he’d finally revealed the emails he’d been sending. 

“So did I,” he admitted. “But I’m here and he’s there and apparently that’s just a few too many miles for us to work through.” He swallowed and grinned that horrible grin again. “Lunch?” She let him go when he pulled his arm away. 

Distantly, she heard him order for her but her thoughts were running too wild for her to care if he got it right or not. Michael’s mark was the darkest of all of theirs. If he and Alex couldn’t make it work, what hope was there for her and Maria? “Izzy?” She jerked her arm at Michael’s touch. “Table’s this way,” he nodded at their usual booth. “You okay?”

“Uh,” she followed him over. “I don’t think so.”

“What’s wrong?” 

“We’re all going to die miserable and alone, aren’t we?”

Michael shook his hair. “What? Where’s that coming from?”

“Your mark is so dark it’s nearly  _ black _ and you and Alex can’t make it work and I know you’ll never really be happy with anyone else, no matter how much you told yourself you could’ve made it work with Maria. Max has never loved anyone but Liz but they’re not even speaking to each other right. And me and Maria? Well the way things are going I doubt I’m ever going to see her again.” She ripped open a straw and dropped it into her water. “So yeah. Miserable and alone. All of us.”

“Well that’s depressing.” 

“Am I wrong?” Isobel challenged him. 

“Yes!” Michael replied. “Look, Max is going to get over his little bisexual freak out and work things out with Liz and Kyle. You and Maria are going to talk and figure out what exactly happened and where it went wrong and then you’re going to fix everything. You’re not going to die miserable and alone.”

“And you?”

“I might die miserable and alone,” he replied easily but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Michael-”

“We had our chance, okay? More than one really and for whatever reason, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Good for you.”

“ _ Michael _ -”

“Look. My life is here and his is there. It’s that simple.”

Isobel looked around. “What’s keeping you here? The scrapyard? Your bunker?” Michael just stared at her like she was an idiot. “ _ Me _ ?  _ Max _ ? Michael, you don’t have to stay here for us, we’re not kids anymore, we’ll be okay if we split up.”

Michael just shook his head. “I can’t leave. Roswell is home.”

\---

“I really hate those damn marks,” Maria knew she sounded bitter. “If it wasn’t for them I’d still be just fine with Michael. We’d be happy.”

“Would you?” Liz asked, her voice carrying oddly from where her head lay next to Maria’s feet.

Maria lifted her head to stare down the bed at Liz. “Yes! Maybe we weren’t perfect for each other or hopelessly in love but what we had was good!” She flopped back down. “It was better than this.”

“Maria?” Liz propped herself up on her elbows. When Maria didn’t answer right away she kicked her shoulder lightly with her toe.

“What?”

“What happened that night?”

Maria swallowed. “I don’t know.”

Liz furrowed her brow. “What does that mean?”

She huffed a laugh. “It means I don’t know. Last thing I remember we were having some drinks down at the bar and the next thing I know I’m waking up next to her in bed without any clothes on.”

Liz quickly reversed her position on the bed so that she was laying next to Maria, their heads on the same pillow. “Isobel would never do something you weren’t comfortable with. You know how seriously she takes that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, I do. But I also know that I was not ready to have sex with her. Hell, I was still deciding if I wanted to kiss her yet or hold off until I was ready to try and date her. And I know I made that clear to her.”

“I thought you two were dating?”

“What?” Maria pulled back to stare at her. “No.”

“Um,” Liz stammered. “I’m not going to argue with you but from an outsider’s perspective you two were going on dates.”

“We’re  _ friends _ ,” Maria pointed out.

“You and I are friends,” Liz explained softly. “We don’t go for midnight drives out the desert. We don’t have one-on-one lunches or dinners most days of the week. I wouldn’t bring an extra sweater along to Max’s house in case you got chilly after dinner.” 

“But we’re friends,” Maria couldn’t help but repeat.

“Okay,” Liz agreed. “But did Isobel know that? Or did she think you were dating and just going slow?” Maria didn’t have an answer for that. “And this is why you should talk to her.”

Maria sniffed and shifted the pillow under their heads. “Enough about my problems. How’re the boyfriends?”

Liz rolled onto her back with a groan. “Who knows? Not me, that’s for damn sure.” 

“Still haven’t heard from them?”

“Nope.”

“You know,” Maria said slowly. “If it wasn’t for the mark, you might not be in this mess.”

Liz’s head lolled to the side so she could look at her. “You’re right,” she realized. “Fuck these stupid aliens and their stupid marks.”

“I thought that’s what you were trying to do,” Rosa laughed from the doorway. Liz and Maria both threw pillows at her.

\---

Kyle paced on Max’s back patio waiting for him to get home. He could do this. It was Max Evans, for chrissake, it’s not like it’s Jesse Manes he’s waiting to have a heart to heart with.

“Kyle?” Kyle jerked backwards in surprise, his foot slipping off the edge of the patio. “Woah!” Max reached out and grabbed his arm to steady him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?”

Max’s hand was warm on his arm. That was all he could focus on. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He shook his head to clear it. “We should talk.”

Max let go and stepped back, his hand brushing that persistent lock of hair out of his face. “Yeah, I guess we should.” He jerked his thumb at the house. “You want a beer?”

“We had sex.”

“That’s a no to the beer, huh?”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Can we just get through this?”

Max cleared his throat. “Yeah, okay. So we had sex. With Liz.”

“Yeah, with Liz. And each other.” Kyle made himself look Max in the eye. “And it was good.”

Max’s eyes widened in surprise. “Yeah, it was.”

“Yeah?” Kyle asked in disbelief. Maybe it really would be as easy as Jenna said. 

“Yeah,” Max nodded sheepishly. “I, uh, I didn’t expect it to.”

“Me neither.”

“So-” Max brushed the hair out of his face again. “What does that mean for us?”

“You’re going to make me do this first?”

Max smiled. “You’re better at it.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Fine. The sex was nice and I wouldn’t say no to a repeat but I don’t particularly want to date you and I don’t think I want to have sex with you without Liz present.”

“So...business as usual but now we can have sex together too?”

“Yeah, basically,” Kyle shrugged. “And if at any point any of that changes, we talk about it.” He studied Max. “Does that work for you?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. We’re on the same page.”

“Good. Care to fill me in?” Liz asked from the doorway. Both of them whirled to face her. “I was coming by to yell at you for still ghosting me, Evans. Imagine my surprise when I find Kyle beat me to it.” She stepped outside but no further. “So who wants to bring me up to speed?”

Kyle looked to Max but he didn’t seem forthcoming with any answer so he bit the bullet. “The sex was good. With all of us,” he explained. “It, uh, it was better than we both expected and we both sort of-”

“Freaked out?” Liz supplied.

“Basically,” Max agreed. “But we just talked about it and we’re on the same page. The sex was good and we’d like to do it again but only with you present and outside of that it’s business as usual. We’re not going to start going on dates or having sex without you with us.”

Liz looked between them. “So we’re still doing this?”

“If you still want to,” Kyle answered. 

“You- If I-” she let out a tiny growl. “You two are infuriating! Do you seriously think you can run out of my apartment and not speak to me for two weeks and then just say ‘oh we’re all good’ and that’s it?”

“I’m sorry,” Kyle told her. “I shouldn’t have done that and I shouldn’t have ignored you and avoided you. I was dealing with it, poorly I know, but I was trying to handle it on my own before I came and talked to you both about it.”

“That’s not how this works, Kyle,” Liz told him. “We’re partners, all of us, and that means we  _ talk _ to each other. If you weren’t dealing with it well, I want to know that! I want to be there and help you figure out how to deal with it. But you just left me out in the cold like I was nothing.”

“Liz-” Max started towards her.

She whirled on him. “And you! You did the same damn thing! How can we do this if you’re both just going to run away every time something new spooks you? News flash, I’ve had trouble adjusting to this whole thing too and I didn’t run away. No, I talked to you both and you helped me adjust. Why did you both refuse to let me help you? To help each other?”

“You’re right,” Max told her. “I’m sorry. I should have talked to you, to both of you,” he nodded at Kyle, “and we should’ve dealt with this together.”

“Yes, we should have.” Liz crossed her arms.

“Next time, we will,” Kyle assured her. Liz stared at him. “If there is a next time?”

She snorted. “Please. Between the three of us? Someone’s absolutely going to freak out again at some point.”

Kyle felt the last bit of apprehension fade from his body and he couldn’t help but kiss her. She let out a small startled noise but she kissed back immediately. When they broke away, Max pulled her into a hug and she leaned up for a small kiss. “We’re a work in progress,” Liz mumbled.

“We’re getting there,” Max answered. He smiled at Kyle over Liz’s head and he couldn’t help but smile in return. 

\---

“You’re sure this is the right thing to do?” Max double checked before he got out of the car. Isobel nodded. 

“I’m positive. Come on.”

He followed her up to the front door and inside. She didn’t bother knocking. 

“Uh, hi?” Michael greeted from the couch. He was wrapped up in a old Air Force blanket and the current placement of his hand told Max that he’d been tracing his mark right before they walked in. As they stood there, he hiked the blanket up higher to hide it. 

Any reservations he may have had were now gone and Max thrust the envelope at Michael. “Here.”

Michael took it slowly, his eyes going between him and Isobel. “What’s going on?”

“Open it,” Isobel urged. 

Michael still looked uneasy but he peeled back the flap and pulled out the two things inside. One was a check. The other was a plane ticket to Reagan Airport in D.C. Google had assured them that it was the closest airport to Alex. 

It was one way.

“What is this?”

Isobel looked to Max before sitting down next to Michael. Max settled on the coffee table in front of him. “You said the problem was that you were here and Alex is there,” Isobel reminded him.

“Alex can’t come back here, even if he wanted to,” Max added. “But you can go there.”

Michael shook his head. “Roswell’s home. I can’t leave.”

“Why not?” Isobel asked gently. “Because of Max and I? We’re okay, Michael. You stayed here after graduation because you were worried about me and you’ve stayed here since then because we feel tied to this place but we’re not. You can leave.”

“You’re kicking me out of town?” Michael sounded betrayed.

“Michael, this will always be your hometown,” Max promised him. “And you will always be our brother, wherever we are. No distance is going to change that. But tell me something, okay? When you think of home, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

“Alex,” Michael breathed.

“Then you should be with Alex,” Max rested a hand on Michael’s knee and squeezed gently. “You can always come back and we can come visit you.”

“You’ll be sick of me before you know it,” Isobel promised. Her eyes were getting watery but they all ignored it. Mostly because his and Michael’s were equally wet. “I don’t want you to die miserable and alone, Michael.”

Michael reached out and pulled her into his arms. She went easily, sinking into his embrace, the blanket getting darker under her cheek. A moment later, Max felt a push on his back and he smiled before giving in and joining them on the couch.

“What’s the check for?”

“Travel fund,” Max answered. “We weren’t kidding about coming back to visit.”

\---

Isobel was exhausted when she finally got home, the trip out to Michael’s taking more out of her than she’d thought it would. She made it all the way inside before realizing something was wrong.

“Hello?” she called into the dark house. She grabbed the pepper spray out of her purse and readied her mind for telekinesis.

“It’s me,” Maria’s voice came softly from the kitchen. 

Isobel let out a shuddering breath. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, the low light in the kitchen casting her in shadow as she stood in the doorway. “I texted you I was coming over.”

Isobel dug her phone out of her purse to check and sure enough there was a missed text from her. She dropped the phone and the pepper spray back inside and put the purse on its appropriate hook. “I’m really tired, Maria. Can this wait?”

“What happened that night?” Isobel froze. 

“What?” 

“I don’t remember.”

Her blood ran cold. She took a step back, horrified. “What do you mean you don’t remember?” The shadow that was Maria shrugged and suddenly Isobel couldn’t do this. She slapped at the wall until she hit a light switch. Both of them blinked against the sudden brightness but Isobel felt her shoulders relax just a little. “What don’t you remember?”

“I remember drinking at the Pony,” Maria said slowly. “And I remember waking up in bed without any clothes on.” Isobel covered her mouth. She thought she might be sick. She knew what that felt like, had enough missing time from Noah, and to think she’d done that to Maria… “So I need you to fill in the gaps. Because I know you wouldn’t have done anything I didn’t ask for but I- I don’t remember asking. And I don’t,” she cleared her throat. “I don’t remember wanting to ask.”

“You-”

“Wait, before you answer, I have to ask,” Maria cut her off. “In your opinion, were we dating?”

Isobel felt blindsided. “That’s the impression I was under yes. You wanted to take things slowly so we weren’t kissing or anything like that but yeah, we’ve been dating.”

Maria looked surprised. “I thought we were just being friends.”

“I don’t typically bring my friends dinner so we can eat together when they have to work late,” Isobel told her. Maria had done that for her no less than three times when she missed their dinner plans. “I don’t usually head out to the desert to look at the stars with my friends,” she added. “If that’s your definition of friends then we’ve had a fundamental error in communication.”

“I’m starting to get that,” Maria agreed. “Now about that night?”

Isobel swallowed. “Um. We went out to the desert because there was a meteor shower and then we went to the Pony because you had to close after your bartender texted you that he had to leave. After it emptied out we had a few drinks and then you kissed me. You kissed me and you said you were tired of taking it slow. And then things just sort of progressed from there.” She crossed her arms over her stomach. “I followed your cues the whole night. Just like I’ve been doing this whole time. Maria, I don’t know why you don’t remember but you weren’t that drunk. I’ve seen you drunk enough to black out and you weren’t. I wouldn’t have done anything if you were. I promise you.”

“I believe you,” Maria assured her. 

“I’m sorry,” Isobel apologized. “I should have realized something was up. You moved so fast from kissing to wanting to have sex and I was surprised by it but you seemed so  _ sure _ that I didn’t fight you on it. I should have. I’m so sorry, Maria.”

Maria took a deep breath. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should have-”

“Gabrielle, the bartender who left early? Someone slipped a drug into her drink and her sister came and picked her up.” She rubbed her arms. “I think I drank the same drink when I was clearing up. It was stupid, I know, but it was set aside in the section we use for employee drinks and it was full and I just- it wasn’t your fault,” she repeated. 

Isobel hurried across the room to Maria but stopped just short until Maria reached out for her. Then, Isobel gathered her in her arms and held her tight. “I’m sorry this happened.”

“I’m sorry I blamed you,” Maria murmured. “When I woke up I was just so freaked out and I didn’t understand. You were right there and it was easy to pin it on you even though I know you’d never do anything like it.”

“I wouldn’t,” Isobel promised vehemently.

“I know,” Maria assured her again. “I know that.”

Isobel held her for a while until Maria slipped out of her grasp. “So what does this mean for us?” She asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Maria admitted. “But I do know I want to know we’re dating next time.”

“Next time?” Isobel asked.

Maria nodded. “I like you Isobel. A lot. And even though I’m really not ready to enter into a new relationship, especially right now, I would like to at some point.”

“Okay.”

“Just like that?” Maria huffed a little laugh.

“Yeah,” Isobel nodded. “I told you, I’m taking my cues from you. You already know how I feel and you know that I am happy to be your friend. Anything more than that we take at your pace.”

“Okay.” Maria smiled. “Thank you.”

“You really don’t need to thank me for that.”

“Fine,” Maria tugged her into another hug. “Then thank you for the hugs. They feel safe.”

“Well,” Isobel pressed her face into Maria’s neck. “You can have one any time you want.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

\---

“What?!” Alex yelled. It was stupid o’clock in the morning and he did not want to deal with his idiot neighbors right now. To add to his troubles, the banging woke Buffy up and she beat him to the door, her barks probably waking up whichever neighbors had managed to sleep through the knocking.

“Do you know what time it i-” Alex opened the door. “Michael?”

Michael Guerin stood on his doorstep, three large duffel bags at his feet. “Hey Alex. You know any good apartments around here?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the updated tags
> 
> **If you were here for the angst then I suggest you consider stopping at 6 because I am all out of angst**

Alex didn’t bother with coffee this time. He didn’t need it. As tired as he was a minute ago, he was wide awake now. In front of him Michael crouched in his living room, playing with his dog. His bags were piled neatly inside the front door.

He was _here_.

“I’m confused,” he finally said. Michael looked up at him and slowly rose to his feet.

“You said if we wanted this to work, to be real, we had to work through our issues and we couldn’t do that from opposite sides of the country,” Michael reminded him. He was taking slow steps towards Alex. “We agreed that our biggest problem was that I was in Roswell and you were here,” he added. “Well now I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. At least, not anywhere without you.”

“You can’t just-” Alex stuttered. “You can’t just show up on my doorstep at 5 o’clock in the morning and- what time was your flight?!”

Michael laughed. “Flew out last night. Took a cab from the airport.”

“You’re insane,” Alex commented mildly. “What about Max and Isobel?”

“They bought me the plane ticket,” Michael explained. He was much closer now. “They promised me that Roswell would always be my hometown and they would always be my family but-”

“But what?” Alex breathed. 

“But it isn’t home. Not anymore. Not since the day you left.”

“You’re really moving here?”

“I already did. Just need to find a place to live and a garage to work at and I’m set.”

“You just picked up and moved across the country without telling me?” Alex raised an eyebrow. “Without asking me if I want this? If I’m okay with this?”

Michael didn’t even hesitate. “Yes. Because I know you, Alex Manes, and you want this as much as I do. You have been asking me to come with you since we were 21 and I’m sorry I took so long but yeah, I’m here. If you don’t want this, that’s fine, I’ll respect it. But I’m not going back to Roswell. I will be here until you do want this.”

“You’re that sure of yourself, huh?” Alex hated the waver he heard in his own voice. He was trying to be strong and stoic but it was impossible with Michael this close and this earnest.

“No,” he replied instantly. “I’m that sure of _us_. The biggest issue is already taken care of. Now we just need to make it work. And I know you,” he gave him that tiny head shake and smile Alex would forever associate with the words ‘I never look away’, “and you won’t let us fail. Not now. Not with both of us fighting for it.”

Alex swallowed. “Both of us fighting, huh? You’re going to pull your weight in this relationship?”

“I don’t look away, Alex. And I’m not walking away. Not ever again,” he promised as he brought their foreheads together. 

“I hate you,” Alex groaned. Michael, to his credit, just chuckled. “I have to go to work and no I can’t call out sick. You have the _worst_ timing, I swear to god.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael smiled. “Why’s that?”

Alex kissed him. Hell, he was fairly certain some part of his subconscious was actively trying to fuse his body to Michael’s. It was only when Buffy’s barking reached obnoxious levels that they pulled apart. But even then they didn’t go very far. “I have to take her out,” Alex panted, more than a little out of breath. “And then I have to take a shower, alone, and get ready for work.”

“What time do you get off?”

Alex groaned and kissed him again. “Do not ask me that. I can’t be thinking of that all day.”

“I think that ship has sailed,” Michael laughed.

“What will you do?” 

“Today? Look for a job, find a place to live.” He shrugged. “As much as I would love to move right in-”

“We should go slow,” Alex finished for him. “Date first. Then live together.”

“Agreed.” Buffy whined from the front door. “Look, I’ll take her out, you take your shower and get ready.”

Alex followed him to the door and pushed him to the wall for one last kiss before finally letting him go. Once they were gone, he leaned against the door, his forehead braced against it as he took deep breaths to calm down. He went to sleep last night convinced he’d probably never see Michael again and now he’s _here_ , and he’s _staying_ , and they’re going to date. 

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> You can’t just put him on a plane and send him to me Maxwell. He’s not a gift.
> 
> And you couldn’t even give me a head’s up??
> 
> A

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> No returns.
> 
> You’re welcome.
> 
> Max Evans

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> Thank you
> 
> A

\---

“I take it you worked things out,” Jenna was immensely gratified to see Max jump as she slid onto the side of his desk. He was too busy checking out Kyle’s ass to notice so she figured he deserved it. 

“Uh, what?” 

She nodded at Kyle’s retreating back. “With Valenti. And Liz, I guess but Valenti was the source of the freak out right?”

Max looked like a fish, his mouth opening and closing. “How did you know-”

Jenna raised an eyebrow. “C’mon Evans. I know you,” she nudged him with her knee. “You sleep with him without Liz yet?”

“What? No! That’s not-!”

“Uhuh,” she grinned. “Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.” She winked at him and left him sputtering in her wake.

> From: [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> You’re going to keep me posted on all things Max and Kyle right? I need more information if I’m going to keep up this all knowing pretense

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> You could just spy on them the old fashioned way
> 
> A

> From: [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Too much work. You’re faster

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> Was that an actual compliment, Sgt Cameron?
> 
> A

> From: [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Don’t let it go to your head, Captain

\---

> From: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> How did you deal with your bisexual awakening? Asking for a friend

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> First of all, I don’t think our friendship has quite reached the point where we can talk about your sex life with my sister
> 
>   
> Second of all, I am the wrong person to ask. I didn’t have a sexuality crisis. I just knew. I figured it was an alien thing until I realized Max and Isobel weren’t bi. And given recent events, I’m back to thinking it’s an alien thing. You puny humans and your outdated sexual binary tsk tsk
> 
> Third, find a hot chick and hook up with her. See if it’s women or just Isobel. Also, you need to get laid.
> 
> M

> From: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> First, I wasn’t talking about our sex life but once we get to that point I’ll be sure to fill you in
> 
> Second, you are literally useless with this aren’t you?
> 
> Third, been there done that, it was fun but nothing to write home about?

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> Talk to Max. Or Kyle. Maybe they can commiserate on your latent bisexuality?
> 
> M
> 
> P.S. please for the love of god do not give me details about my sister’s sex life. I’m begging you (but like, go have one with her? If you want?)

  
  


“Maria,” Max called from the other end of the bar. He and Kyle waved when she looked over but she just spared them a nod in greeting while she helped a customer.

Gabrielle passed by her to help them and Maria reached out and grabbed her arm lightly. “I’ll take the guys if you can help these folks?” She nodded at the customer she’d just been talking to.

“Sure thing,” Gabrielle agreed easily. Maria smiled in thanks and stepped neatly past her.

“Hey guys,” she greeted as she leaned across the bar. “Thanks for coming over.”

“Any time,” Kyle assured her.

“What’s up?” Max asked.

“I need someone to talk to about this whole I might actually be bi thing and Michael was absolutely no help but then I thought you two might be able to commiserate,” she explained brightly. They exchanged glances, their cheeks flushed, before both started shaking their heads.

“That’s not-”

“We’re not-”

“Uhuh,” she brushed them off. “Anyway, Liz is tragically straight, Rosa and Michael are completely unhelpful, and I can’t talk to Isobel about this, so that leaves you two.”

“What about Alex?” Kyle was quick to offer. Maria raised an eyebrow. “I thought you two were getting along better now?”

“We are,” she agreed. It was even mostly true. “But I’m not sure how a man who’s been out as gay since we were 13 can really sympathize with a sexuality crisis in my 30s.”

“You turned 30 two weeks ago,” Kyle leveled her with an unimpressed look.

“Like I said, in my 30s.”

“Ok fine,” Kyle sighed heavily. “I’m not sure how much help I’ll be but if you want to talk, I’m here.”

They both looked at Max. He looked mildly uncomfortable until Kyle elbowed him in the ribs. “Yeah, me too. If you want to talk. About you.”

Maria laughed. “Go find a table, I’ll send over some beers until I can join you.”

“You’re a queen, Maria!” Kyle leaned over and kissed her cheek. “A queen!”

“And don’t you forget it!”

\---

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> I might be more into Kyle than I thought
> 
> Max Evans

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> Well do I have good news for you. You’re already dating the guy! Just kiss him
> 
> Side note: welcome to the party, it’s a real bisexual alien blast. See Isobel for your welcome packet
> 
> M

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are.
> 
> Max Evans

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> I’m hilarious
> 
> M

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Thanks
> 
> Max Evans

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> For not making a big deal out of it I mean
> 
>   
> Max Evans

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> Wouldn’t dream of it
> 
> M

\---

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> _3 attachments_
> 
> If you tell anyone about this I will send Buffy one of those dog toys with a million pieces that you’ll never find again.
> 
> It’s my official first date (actually really official this time) with Maria and I have no idea what to wear.
> 
> I like the first one but she won’t tell me where we’re going or what we’re doing so I don’t want to be overdressed. The second one might be too casual. And the third’s a little uncomfortable but I look amazing in it

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> Don’t ever threaten my dog with toys again, I swear she perked up as soon as I read your message. I mean the puppy eyes were out in full force and I don’t need that kind of pressure from her
> 
> Congrats on the date. I’m glad it’s working out and everyone’s on the same page this time.
> 
> Go with #2. Maria’s not going to take you anywhere super fancy so you won’t need the first one and as hot as you look in the last one, she’ll know if you’re uncomfortable and that’ll just put her on edge. Plus, you look the most like yourself in that one and Maria’s looking to date you not the fancy dress

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Should I threaten to ship the Airstream then? I can fill it with the files out of his bunker?
> 
> And thank you.

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> Don’t even think about it. My apartment is not big enough for all of that research

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Your apartment? I thought he had his own? Something you two forgot to share with the class?

“Wow,” was all Maria could say when Isobel opened the door. She sent up a silent thank you to Alex for the suggestion.

“You look amazing,” she replied. And Maria did. She was wearing her favorite peasant skirt with a crop top and a denim jacket and she looked so very Maria it was breathtaking.

Maria smiled and leaned up and kissed her lightly on the lips. She pulled away almost before Isobel realized what had happened and smiled shyly. “Sorry. I was going to wait for the end of the night but-”

Isobel cupped her face and kissed her slowly. She didn’t push, she couldn’t, but she let it linger as she savored the feeling.

“Wow,” Maria breathed. Her eyes were still closed. “I really want to take you out but I’m suddenly okay with just doing that all night.”

“We can do that later,” Isobel promised. “I want you to take me out.”

Maria smiled and took her hand. “Well, then, Ms. Evans, let’s go.”

\---

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> HANDPRINT PLUS MARK
> 
> YOU WILL THANK ME

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> HANDPRINT ON THEM WHILE THEY TOUCH THE MARK + SEX = NEVERENDING ORGASM

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> These are our work emails, Michael! And I don’t need details on your sex life, ew

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Holy shit

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> You’re welcome

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Oh my god

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> Exactly

\---

Liz was surprised for about half a second, she’ll freely admit that. This was not something she had expected to come home to tonight but she was definitely not going to complain. 

In the kitchen, Max had Kyle pressed into a counter as they kissed. “Jesus, how does Liz do this?” Kyle pushed at Max a little bit. “My neck already hurts.” Liz hid her smile. She definitely did get neck cramps occasionally. But she and Max had worked out a way around that, usually entailing Liz up on a-

Max pushed up under Kyle’s armpits and lifted him onto the counter. “Holy shit,” Kyle gasped.

“We make it work.” Liz could hear the smirk in his voice as they fell back into each other. 

> From: [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Max and Kyle are making out in our kitchen right now. I don’t know whether I should feel left out or really turned on

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> Both?

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> _1 attachment_
> 
> Oh by the way…
> 
> Who’s the genius now Lizzie??

  
  


Liz rolled her eyes at the new moniker and opened the attachment. Her keys fell out of her hand as it flew to her mouth to stifle her gasp. The top of the page had the MIT logo and the first line read, “Congratulations Mr. Michael Guerin.”

She slipped out the front door and called him.

“Better than CU Boulder?”

“Holy shit Mikey, that’s amazing!” She yelled. “You’re seriously going to MIT?”

“That’s what the paper said.”

“Oh my god I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks,” he suddenly sounded sheepish.

Liz rolled her eyes. “You deserve it, Michael, seriously. Or did you think we were all blowing smoke up your ass when we called you a genius?”

“Nah, I figured there had to be some truth to it all.”

Liz leaned against the closed front door. “What about Alex?”

“He’s happier than you are. I got a very nice congratulations present from him already.”

“Ew,” she laughed. “I meant, I thought you two weren’t splitting up? How’s it going to work if you’re at MIT and he’s at Andrews?”

“Yeah, I guess that would be an issue if he was staying here.”

Liz straightened. “He’s being relocated? I thought he’d be there until his service was up.”

Michael hummed. “I don’t pretend to understand the specifics-”

“Bullshit, you just don’t want to tell me.”

“That too,” he agreed. “But yes, he’s moving with me. We’ve realized we don’t do well with long distance so we’re just not going to.”

“Look at you two acting like two mature adults in a relationship,” she teased. “I’m really happy for you, Michael. For both of you.”

“Thanks, Liz.” He sobered. “Serious question.”

It was never a serious question when Michael said it like that. “Hit me.”

“Why the fuck are you talking to me when your boyfriends are making out with each other in your kitchen?”

“That is an excellent question,” Liz realized. “I will talk to you later.”

Michael laughed. “Bye. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That’s not saying much.”

“Have fun with your boy toys.”

\---

She did. They had fun too, before and after she joined them.

\---

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> _2 attachments_
> 
> You are not missing our birthday again this year if I have to fly up there and drag you back here myself. I already bought your tickets and Maria and Rosa are going to fix up the cabin so it’s not all dusty.
> 
> See you on the 7th.
> 
> Isobel

Michael wasn’t sure where it went wrong. He wasn’t even sure _what_ went wrong. The air hummed with the remnants of their shouts. 

Four days. They’d been back in Roswell four days and they were at each other’s throats. 

“What are we fighting about?” Alex asked wearily. His shoulders were tense and his hair was in a disarray from where he’d been running his fingers through it. The last time Michael had seen him like this he’d had a bad day at work. A really bad day. He’d walked through the door like the world was weighing him down, his shoulders tense but bowed, his hair a mess, and Michael had wanted to fight everyone who’d even spoken to Alex that day because they’d all contributed to it. And right now, it was him. _He_ was the one who made Alex look like that. 

“Pack your bags,” he ordered.

Alex balked. “What?”

“Pack up. We’re leaving.”

“And going where?” Alex sighed.

“Home,” Michael said simply. “I don’t know what it is about this place that makes us so miserable for each other but I’m sick of it. Let’s go home.”

“Isobel’s going to be pissed,” Alex warned. 

Michael shrugged. “Let her be pissed. I’m not going to fight with you, not over,” he waved a hand at their general vicinity, “I don’t even know what, honestly. You weren’t kidding when you said you couldn’t come back here. I didn’t really take you seriously and I’m sorry about that but now I understand so let’s leave. Go home, go back to being us.”

“Your family’s here, Michael,” Alex sounded exhausted. “We can’t just leave and never come back.”

“They can come to us.” Michael walked over and carded his fingers through the fine hairs at the back of Alex’s neck. “Maybe one day we can come back and be okay but that day isn’t today so let’s go. I’ve seen Max and Izzy, I’ve had drinks with Liz and Rosa and Maria and Jenna, I’ve kicked Kyle’s ass at pool, and watched the sunset in the desert. I am quite literally good to go. And even if I wasn’t, you are. So let’s leave. Just pack our stuff and go. We can get a hotel in Albuquerque and fly home in the morning.”

“And everyone else?”

Michael smiled. “I’ll send them an email.”

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> Sorry to cut and run but we decided it was better if we just went home. Thanks for the birthday party, Iz.
> 
> It was great to see everyone but next time, why don’t you all come to us?
> 
> 1832 Lexington Ave
> 
> Medford, MA 02155
> 
> M&A

> From: [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov) ; [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> Holy shit you’re actually giving us your address??
> 
> Also, you two owe me some hugs next time I see you. I will collect interest
> 
> Travel safe
> 
> Liz

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Everything okay?

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> It will be. We might not be back in Roswell for a while, though.
> 
> A

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> As long as we get to come to you I can live with that
> 
> Isobel

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Always, Izzy
> 
> M

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Fly safe. Call me when you get home
> 
> Max Evans

> From: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Prepare yourselves for lots of care packages. You will regret giving us your address <3
> 
> Maria

\---

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Boston City Hall 
> 
> August 14th
> 
> 4:00pm
> 
> Consider this your formal invitation.
> 
> M&A

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> YOU ASSHOLES
> 
> This is not how you tell someone you’re getting married!

> From: [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Isobel’s just upset you stole her and Maria’s thunder. Congratulations you two! We’ll be there!
> 
> (A little more notice wouldn’t have killed you by the way)
> 
> Liz

> From: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> ELIZABETH

> From: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> But yes, of course, Isobel and I will be there too. Congratulations!
> 
> Love,
> 
> Maria

> From: [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I’ll be there. Jenna’s my +1

> From: [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> WHAT?

> From: [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> What?

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> ...Did we not know about this? I thought we knew about this?

> From: [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> You knew about this

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> We knew about this
> 
> P.S. Michael’s graduating from MIT on the 17th if you want to stay an extra couple of days

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> ALEX

> From: [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Wait, what? Since when is Michael at MIT?

> From: [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Since they moved to Boston so he could go? Keep up, Max

> From: [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I thought you guys were getting better at the whole communication thing?
> 
> Michael, congrats on graduating and congrats to you both on getting engaged. I will try my best to be there but I’m not sure if I can get the time off with such short notice.

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> Isobel?

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I’ll take care of it. He’ll be there

> From: [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> Should I be worried?

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> No

> From: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> No

> From: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> No

> From: [ kyle.valenti@roswellhospital.org ](mailto:kyle.valenti@roswellmedical.org)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com) ; [ max.evans@ccsd.gov ](mailto:max.evans@ccsd.gov) ; [ ghostortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:ghostortecho@gmail.com) ; [ lizortecho@gmail.com ](mailto:lizortecho@gmail.com) ; [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com) ; [ maria.deluca@gmail.com ](mailto:maria.deluca@gmail.com) ; [ jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov ](mailto:jenna.cameron@ccsd.gov)
> 
> cc: [ alex.manes@gmail.com ](mailto:alex.manes@gmail.com)
> 
> I’m officially worried

\---

“Look at you,” Maria moseyed up next to him. Michael raised an eyebrow in question. “I was right.”

“About what?”

“I’ve finally seen you smile for real.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s a thing of beauty.” She reached up and played with his tassel. “Congratulations, Michael. You deserve this.” She tapped his new ring. “And this.”

“Thank you,” he replied sincerely, meaning more than just the compliment. Her expression sobered slightly as she picked up on it. “You were a lot stronger than me when I needed it the most. I wouldn’t have any of this if it hadn’t been for you.”

“Eh,” she nudged his shoulder. “I think you would have figured it out in the end.”

“I’m not so sure,” he mused.

She sighed heavily, a laugh clearly on the tip of her tongue. “Well, fine, if you insist. I guess I’ll have to take all the credit for everything good that happens to you.”

“What, don’t I get some credit?” Alex came up on her other side.

“Nope,” Maria shook her head. “I broke up with him so all of the credit for Michael’s success in life and in love is mine.”

Alex nodded solemnly. “I see your point. Yes, this is all thanks to you.” He held the stoic expression for a beat more then broke into a brilliant smile and kissed her cheek. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” 

Someone, probably Isobel, called her name just then and slipped away from them. Michael hardly noticed, his attention already fixed on his husband. “Hey,” he greeted softly. Alex’s smile softened as he came over and wound his arms around Michael’s waist and kissed him lightly. 

“Hey,” he returned. “I tell you lately how proud I am of you?”

“You might have mentioned it once or twice.”

“Well, I am. And you should be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you for believing in me. Especially when I didn’t believe in myself,” Michael pressed their foreheads together.

“Always.”

“Oi, lovebirds! This ain’t your honeymoon yet!” Trust Rosa Ortecho to ruin a moment. They both started laughing and turned around to face their friends. As they did, they saw that every single one of them had their phones up and were taking pictures of them. 

“Oh that’s perfect,” Isobel declared. “Thank you, Rosa.”

Rosa shrugged. “Happy to help.”

“What?” Michael laughed. 

“I wanted natural smiles!” Isobel explained. “You looked so stiff in the pictures we took earlier.”

Alex exchanged a look with Jenna and before Michael knew it, his cap was gone and his cowboy hat was in its place. “Much better,” Alex grinned. “Come here, cowboy.” Alex grabbed the front of his graduation robe and pulled him into a kiss that Michael was helpless to resist. Even if they were both smiling too wide for it to be a good kiss.

The click of fake shutters echoed around them.

> From: [ isobelevans@evansevents.com ](mailto:isobelevans@evansevents.com)
> 
> To: [ m.guerin47@gmail.com ](mailto:m.guerin47@gmail.com)
> 
> _2 attachments_
> 
> Happiness looks good on you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for coming on this ride with me. It was a very fast, completely unexpected ride but it was a lot of fun. I got an idea Thursday night as I was going to sleep for a little angsty one shot and here we are 4 days and 40k words later...


End file.
